Broken Rose
by Danny Barefoot
Summary: Throughout many lives, their distance remains the same. Kyouko and Sayaka friendship, PMMM not owned by me, please R & R.
1. Prologue: Kyouko

Kyouko's earliest undefiled memory was from infant school. Her father had gone on one knee to tie her shoelaces, though her mother always said she should learn herself. Kyouko remembered clearly that she had tapped her father's shoulder with a solemn expression.

"I dub thee a knight. Means you're a knight. Sir...Papa. "

"What's this, then?" His round face smiled pleasantly, "Do you want me to slay a dragon or something?"

"Uh-uh. Just stay with me and Sis and Mama all the time. Then we'll be safe."

"I'd love to...I'm afraid God's soldiers have to go out and fight back the darkness sometimes. But I could never keep fighting, if He hadn't given me a beautiful princess to come home to."

To Kyouko, her father really was more a knight than a pastor. Like St George, Sir Galahad and all the Old Testament heroes she loved him to read about at bedtime, true knights didn't win because they were strong. They had pure heart faith that God would uphold them. Though her father was the gentlest man she could imagine, he had the unbound yet unwavering soul of a knight errant. Riding within yards of hell, with heaven's love in his heart.

Kyouko loved the stories of David and Goliath, or Deborah and Barak. The only bible story she hated was Jephthah, who had sacrificed his own daughter for victory against the Ammonites. Her father had explained that Jephthat's sadness had been like God the Father's pain when he let His son die on the cross. Jesus and the nameless girl had given up their lives for the sake of the many, and gone to heaven with their fathers. Kyouko had kept on crying, but it had helped that her father was crying with her.

With such a good father, Kyouko had to help him on his way. She was collecting funds for Overseas Mission and spreading the word about church events, almost as soon she could speak. It gave her some satisfaction to compare her efforts with the ordinary lives of girls who obsessed over clothes and stupid pop idols.

She wasn't perfect, of course. Even if it had been right to tell her father about the two choirgirls kissing in the church toilets, she didn't feel good about it. She knew even her father hadn't felt good about throwing them out. But he assured Kyouko that sometimes saving people meant hurting them a bit as well.

* * *

When Kyouko was in Junior High, her father was expelled from his denomination, allegedly for preaching Political Action and Salvation by Works. Put simply–no one should expect Jesus to save them, if they wouldn't follow him and fight the darkness. Kyouko knew it was true–her Papa had told her it was in the bible, and he always told the truth–and couldn't understand at first why no one wanted to hear such a wonderful message.

The Sakura's had always been poor, giving everything they could to Mission and charities–but nothing prepared Kyouko for no income, no food, their little saving and nothing to hope for. Pastor Sakura told his children he would rather fast for a month than let them miss one meal. He kept his word, but the meals were still cup ramen and Kyouko was still always hungry. It was like being locked in a dungeon on bread and gruel. Except they'd done nothing wrong, and their house had no locks or bars, but no hope of release.

It was far worse when her father became silent and tense. When her mother told him he should eat, there were rows. He was like Elijah, driven into the desert and praying for death, before the angels brought food to restore his spirit. But neither angels nor humans brought so much as a pocky stick, no matter how much Kyouko prayed.

Every day, Kyouko's father would go out with his daughters, preaching to anyone who would listen, and praying over the streets and houses when no one would. Kyouko grew hardened to the insults of every drunk and delinquent, but not the dull, accusing eyes of policemen and passing families. On some days, her sister plopped down on the curb and sobbed that she wouldn't move until God brought them all something to eat.

"God only wants us to do one more street, Blossom," Kyouko's father knelt down to her, "Remember, 'Man does not live by bread alone.'"

"That's right Papa. I don't just want bread, I want cake!" Kyouko screwed up her fists, "I want clothes that fit me. And I want a mother who doesn't have to cry. I want people to see that you're _right_, Papa, so you can save the world like God told you to. And so you look us the eye again without it hurting. I just want to know that God cares about us!"

"Of course he cares! Don't you remember your bible?" Kyouko stared; he father had never shouted at her before. Recovering himself, he bowed his head; "I'm sorry Princess. True prophets are persecuted in every age. But I don't know why God would let you and your sister suffer...unless He wants you to proclaim his message as well. Please, Princess. Help me. I have to do this, and you're the only ones who understand..."

Kyouko realised then what faith meant. And that her father was a mortal serving God, nothing more. She loved him more than ever, but something changed in her heart.

"Yeah! Come on Papa. Let's go." Kyouko's sister hung on her father's hand, and they walked on.

Kyouko lagged behind. As they passed a greengrocer with a display of apples, she found herself weighing the Eighth Commandment against the riches of God's mercy (always his most reliable quality) and the pit in her stomach.

As she rebuked the devil with difficulty, and went on, she saw a family she recognised as former church-members piling out of their car. Noticing her father, they quickly crossed the street. They were happy with their shopping and their life, they didn't need God, or hope, and probably wished her father would die so they could forget them.

Her Papa had never preached a lie, never watered the words God gave him. He should have been a hero, but he was _Burakumin_, and if God had a purpose in his suffering, Kyouko didn't even want to know it. She wanted justice.

Removing a coin from her jeans, Kyouko drew a nice long scratch on the car. Then she hurried after her father, praying he hadn't seen (though she was sure he could never punish her too harshly).

She stopped, as her father crossed the street ahead of her, smiling at the people who'd abandoned him like valued friends. They'd heard his preaching enough times, so he asked them about their problems. They wouldn't stay to pray with him in the street, but he prayed alone that they would understand God's will and love. Hands trembling on his younger daughter's shoulders.

Like Jesus, her father even prayed for his tormentors. Even when they would only ever treat him like a devil. it wasn't right, but neither was she. Sick at heart, Kyouko threw the coin down the drain.

* * *

–_Sakura Kyouko? Have you decided to make a Contract?–_

"Go away..." Kyouko pulled her bedsheets over her face. From her parents' bedroom, she could hear the mutter of their desperate prayers. From the end of her bed, Kyubee rolled around in apparent idleness.

–_Very well. I may decide not to return, however...–_ Kyouko tried to stifle a panicky squeal, _–This could be a miracle from your own hands, Kyouko. The only one you'll ever get–_

"I've sinned sometimes, and I don't have Papa's faith, and I know I've sinned...but I can't reject God. Papa would never want that. We trust Him to save us, Mr Magic Cat; not anything else we don't understand."

–_You won't save yourself, because you expect God to save you? That's a self-centred viewpoint, Kyouko, not God-centred. His plan may not include your family's earthly happiness. Or perhaps God is waiting for you to act. Just as your father pleaded with his parishioners to act, and sacrifice for the sake of others–_ Kyouko fell silent, thrown into turmoil _–Your father and mother can't make this choice, Sakura Kyouko. It really is between you and God–_

As Kyubee waited, Kyouko prayed. Her mind was in such chaos she might have been shouting into a storm; nothing came back but the echoes of her thoughts. It was hard to even know she wanted; she was so hungry. She imagined going on like this, she thought of watching her Papa's story end in oblivion. She couldn't imagine it.

Kyouko sat up in bed, and looked Kyubee in his eyes.

"This is an act of faith...I hope it is, anyway. But if I'm giving up my own soul, I'm doing it for my family. For Papa and everyone he has to save. I'll be a superhero or a magic princess, or anything. I'll do it."

She fell back onto the bed with a light heart. Kyubee smiled down as her father's prayers hummed on in her ears. Like every hero called by God, just as her father had preached, she was putting her faith into action. It hurt like nothing in her life as the red gem burst from her chest, but it was still magical.

The next day, every person Kyouko's father met on the streets was on their knees and bawling. Kyouko's father was weeping himself, as if heaven was before his eyes for the first time. Kyouko wouldn't have traded a mountain of rump steak for the warmth in her heart. It was a whole happy year before he found out the truth.

* * *

"Please, tell me the truth. Why?"

Kyouko faced her father in the red frilled dress, and told him why.

"I don't believe it. I won't. You're a good honest girl, washed in the blood..." His hand trembled towards the scratch on Kyouko's cheek, as her magic closed it. She'd killed the Witch that had appeared in the church and saved her father; she didn't understand what was still wrong.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. But I promise, everything you preached was right! The people just wouldn't listen because they were wrong! We'd been sad, and then everyone was happy. Wasn't that God's will?"

Kyouko had seen her father angry, and at the end of his faith. This shaking man with the broken face and voice didn't look like her father at all.

"Why didn't I see, God? Not your spirit in my mouth, but the devil's fetters. Not my church to your glory...a synagogue of Satan. A witch, a deceiver...not my daughter..."

"No, Papa, I am! I've been fighting to protect the city from Witches since last year. I never sold my soul...I only used this power because I wanted to help!"

"Be silent! I bind you in the name of Jesus!"

"No! I've fought and nearly died for you; please listen! I'm Kyouko, your princess–!"

"_Don't say her name!_"

The slap shocked Kyouko like nothing in her life. But it was her father who stumbled back, as she gazed up at him.

"It doesn't hurt father; not this body." Some acrimony crept into her voice, "Hit me again if you must. I'm sorry, but we were starving to death! It was like your call to preach, I had to do it!"

"No." Kyouko's father fell back again, falling to his knees, "God gives freedom. You took it away with magic and lies. You're under the devil. I'm under the devil. I praised God for the devil's gift. Enslaved all those souls to his twisted message, Oh God, God..."

Kyouko couldn't meet his eyes. She was crying as well, and then she was running away.

* * *

Kyouko remembered Jepthat's daughter, and knew what she had to do. Her heart still screamed that she had done right, that it wasn't fair, but the despair on her father's face, and the knowledge that she had failed utterly in serving God finally beat her selfishness down.

She would kill herself where no one but her father need find her. Her note would explain how the magic behind his preaching would vanish with her death. She knew that was a lie, but her father would believe in himself again. She couldn't imagine he would ever stop preaching, and the blessing of the church would grow without end, because of her death.

She had violated the free will that even God held sacred. Believing herself selfless, she had twisted thousands of lives, and made her loving father do something unthinkable. She had brought purpose and happiness to thoausand, but the only way to preserve the necessary fairy tale was with a sacrifice.

* * *

As on every other evening of her life so far, Kyouko trudged through her front door. With one shoe off she smelt alcohol, before she smelt the blood

Her father was kneeling on the kitchen floor, hands clasped around something shining. Kyouko didn't realise what it was, until she saw her mother's foot behind the worktop. Her sister slumped against the oven in a pool of red.

"Why? Mother, Sis...! Why?"

"How could I be _husband_, or _father _to them...when I must kill my precious daughter? I couldn't leave them to the devil in this world–the devil in _us_–I had to save them. It's all over, Kyouko. We'll be together in the fire."

"Papa, why? They never did anything–God, please–!"

She never even thought to run. The knife blade missed her heart, but it hurt like everything. Kyouko stayed conscious in her blood, as her Papa wept over her for about two minutes, nailed up a rope just like the one in her own rucksack, and kicked away the chair. She didn't understand anything anymore, but a voice was saying that it was all her fault.

* * *

After her wound healed, Kyouko returned to her father's church, where his disillusioned followers had smashed up everything. She said one prayer to her father's spirit;

"Papa. Thank you for showing me how the world is; sorry I believed in fairytales for so long. In future, I'm going to be as selfish as I can be, like you. I'm going to be honest about it, since honesty was so important to you. I won't have faith in anything in case it kills me, and I won't try to save anyone in case it kills them. Thanks for everything, Papa. I'm sure we'll be going to the same place."

After that, Kyouko stole a banknote from a passing back pocket, and stuffed her face with hamburger until she recovered her spirit. Whatever spirit it was, she had to keep living.


	2. Chpt 1: Combat

_A/N: From here the story is told in nonlinear form over several different timelines, with varied circumstances. Address all enquiries to author, all complaints to British Airways._

* * *

**Fragment 1: Timeline 3**

"Kyouko. How lovely to see you in Mitakihara again,"

"Miss Tomoe. Big, blonde and beautiful as ever."

Mami smiled serenely across the warehouse, as Kyouko grinned down from her perch on a stack of crates. She assessed the two rookies fidgeting behind her erstwhile colleague. A small, mousey girl was bravely keeping hold of her bow, beside a trim, sporty looking swordswoman, with a fetching Arabian-Nights styled. She looked rather spirited, though Kyouko knew too well that wouldn't last.

"How was Tokyo, if I may ask? I thought you were still hunting there."

"Got tired of that. Too many stinkin' Puella Magi."

"Really? Well, this _is_ awkward. Madoka and Sayaka don't have quite enough experience to hold territories of their own at present. Until they fly the nest, I'm sure we could come to some arrangement..."

"Bo-ring. How about we settle it with a fight? I'll take as much of your territory as I reckon I can hold."

"Kyouko, that's absurd. We're friends."

"Looks like you've got new friends, to say how cool you look, and eat up Grief Seeds. Well, I just want Grief Seeds for me, and useless friends can get stuffed."

Kyouko's sneer widened at Sayaka's outraged expression. The kid must have merrily thrown her life away after watching too much _Sailor Moon_. Everything from her inexpert stance to the set of her mouth got up Kyouko's nose.

Mami's voice was strained, but level. "I would never hurt Madoka, Sayaka or you, Kyouko. Why won't you stop fighting and compromise?"

"You'd know, if we'd ever really been friends, Mami," Kyouko gulped her _taiyaki_ down, threw the wrapper aside, "It's in my nature."

As Kyouko dropped to the floor, Sayaka charged straight at the redhead, cloak flying back. Her cutlass slashed up from her waist to Kyouko's head; the veteran blocked and stabbed her lance down in one move. Mami was dancing over some crates, looking for a clear shot. Madoka scurried behind her, calling for Sayaka to get out of their firing line.

Oblivious in her defence of friendship and justice, Sayaka chopped at Kyouko wildly. The redhead hopped back, twirling her spear around to make Sayaka dash the blade away on both sides. Yellow ribbons sprang up from the shots Mami was planting around them, but Kyouko had seen the trick too often to be caught. She even dodged around the ribbons to hold up Sayaka, before darting back to shave her flesh away with expert strikes. She knew she could shield herself from Mami's firepower with the blue buffoon, until she could get within rush distance, take the elite Puella Magi out, and finish the rookies off at her leisure.

Sayaka fell back, as the spearhead slashed through her cheek. Grinning, Kyouko drove her weapon at the girl's chest, ready to force her all the way back to her friends. Too late, she saw Sayaka charge onto the spearhead with a scream of pain, digging her heels immovably in the dust. Kyouko's eyes went wide, as Sayaka gripped the spear shaft.

"..._my friends_, bitch..."

Mad-eyed and bleeding, Sayaka swung her cutlass around; Kyouko only escaped by releasing the spear, and kicking her across the warehouse.

Instantly, a musket ball shattered Kyouko's arm. Her eyes swivelled to Mami's face, still calm as she cocked another gun and aimed.

Leaping over the floor to retrieve her spear, Kyouko jumped and rolled to the cover of a shipping crate, with shots, and arrows from Madoka, ringing around her heels. She clutched her arm, and thought for her life.

"Don't you dare run away, red!" She heard Sayaka proclaim in ringing tones, "I know you've got more than that, and I'm not done yet either!"

"Sayaka, you healed up already!" Madoka squealed, "You're incredible! But too reckless!"

"Honestly..."

Mami had often used that word with regard to Kyouko; the redhead knew she would be smiling. A helplessly affectionate girl, the blonde musketeer had taught Kyouko everything she hadn't discovered for herself about the Puella Magi game. When Kyouko had sobbed out her story at the end of her strength, Mami had shared the warmth of her body and let the redhead cry on her chest.

But Mami had her own past. With her sanity poised on a tower of madness, she'd never been able to make Kyouko's pain her own. The heart beneath her charming facade was too ravaged to ever draw such a rough and wilful girl to itself as a true friend. Kyouko hated owing her life to a false princess. And she hated being too afraid of destroying Mami to try and be a friend and save her.

Sayaka had already regenerated; Kyouko heard her back leaning into the other side of the crate. Sayaka would fight on for what she believed, no matter what hurt she took or caused; more admirable than Mami, more stupid than Kyouko herself. It was a kind of soul she had loved, once. Now, in the twisted, real world where chivalry was stabbed to death with a kitchen knife, love meant incisor-locking, heart pounding hate.

Kyouko flung the chain-linked sections of her spear around the crate to smack into Sayaka's head; in a second, she had followed it. Sayaka stabbed at her body with a grimace of near-relief. Her conviction only grew, as Kyouko kicked her into a wall again. With a second ball in her arm, and an arrow in her stomach, Kyouko only laughed with joyful contempt. She barely remembered to throw up a magic barrier and run for it in good time.

No idiot rookie was going to push her aside–after everything, she still mattered. She was fighting for what she believed in too.

* * *

**Fragment 2: Timeline 7**

Red hair, dark folds weaving in the dusk. Sayaka had stopped in the park on her way back from the hospital to think. The bare-legged girl had to repeat her question.

"Lend me 100 yen for a train?" She rolled her sleeve up brashly, "Not for drugs, see? Heard about a hostel with spare beds out in the suburbs..."

She talked on and stared; Sayaka just stared. Her parents had told her never to give money to beggars, but red-haired girl was just too human to be negated with that word. Her clothes and hair were dirty, she obviously needed a meal or three, but she had bold pride entirely misplaced in a homeless scrounger. She wasn't desperate. Sayaka felt something like envy.

"This is all the money I've got. I hope you find the rest somewhere."

"Hmmph, lucky for you. See ya."

Sayaka muttered that manners cost nothing, as the girl wandered away, and quickly regretted it.

–0–

As she set off home, Sayaka's thoughts oscillated between Kyousuke, the homeless girl, and Kyubee's offer from the other day. She almost sped up to pass a huddle of boys next to a fountain, before she caught a flash of red among them.

She couldn't make out voices, but the girl certainly looked tight lipped and unhappy. The boys were older, and either bleached or sporting piercings; as Sayaka watched, a taller one in a leather jacket laughed and shoved the girl lightly back into fountain's rim.

"Hey. HEY!" Sayaka glared back at the eyes moving over her, "What are you doing, harassing her like that?"

"We've got business. What about you?" Sayaka was aware that the gang was spreading out around her, but didn't back away.

"Look here's your 230 Yen," The redhead shoved the money at the leader, "Just go–"

"That's it? You needed the money to give to these creeps?" Trembling as much with anger as fear, Sayaka dug in her bag, "However much it is, I'll pay it for you!"

"But you said 60 yen was all the money you had..."

"It certainly was! Oh, yeah..." Sayaka realised her error, as the girl buried her face in her hand. The gang laughed contentedly at the little drama; the closest one to Sayaka reached out towards her hair. She slapped him away, and saw instantly in his eyes that she'd made another mistake, before the street-girl apparently teleported to her side and broke the boy's nose.

As his larger friend raised a fist, Sayaka threw her whole weight into his midriff, which completely failed to knock him down. A fist would have crashed down on her back if the other girl hadn't taken the blow on her arm. Another thug took the chance to strike her on the head; growling, the street-girl knocked both boys down with a kick and an uppercut.

An official shout from across the square scattered the remainder. The redhead seized Sayaka's hand, and they raced towards a side-street, both girls flushed and panting.

–0–

"Thanks a lot. You're really strong! Are you a shaolin monk or something?"

"Yeah, grain of rice a day, that's me." Kyouko crunched through her pocky stick, and started another before offering the box to Sayaka, who was hungry enough to take one, "Are you secretly a total moron?"

"Hmmph. Sorry for risking my neck to help you." With Madoka or Hitomi, Sayaka would have laughed her own idiocy off. With Kyouko, self-consciousness overwhelmed her.

"They were just assholes who bum around harassing girls. I'd have kicked their asses already, if it doesn't cause more trouble than it's generally worth."

"So..." Sayaka tried not to show how much flippant swearing bothered her, "What did you need the money for?"

"Ah." Kyouko looked up, momentarily embarrassed, "I kinda...just wanted...to start a conversation?"

"Seriously? That's the daftest thing I've heard. Couldn't you have asked what I was thinking, or just pretended to be lost...?"

"Shut up! And all those questions are _boring_. I wanted to challenge you...I mean, thanks a bunch for the help." Kyouko glared in another direction, as Sayaka burst out laughing.

"You're really honest, you know? Funny sort of honest, but still. How about a coffee and sandwich?"

–0–

The snack was made a bit awkward by Kyouko's insistence on paying for everything. She denied the money was from begging so strenuously that Sayaka didn't mention her other two equally worrying guesses. She was surprised how quiet Kyouko was after she'd wolfed down her sandwich in the shop, and the pause rapidly became an awkward silence.

"Do you...have any relatives at all? Friends?"

"I'm _fine_; I take care of myself. What about you? You were thinking about a boy back in the park, weren't you?" Kyouko cackled as Sayaka flushed and went into a dither.

"Childhood friend! I wasn't really thinking–" glancing back at Kyouko, she realised that the redhead was leaning over their table, aiming an intense gaze at her from a distance of inches. She flinched back. "What's the big idea? You were definitely going to do something weird!"

"Don't be stupid. You just looked really cute when you were embarrassed. Bit less of a knucklehead."

"Cor, you really know how to chat a girl up, don't you?"

"_Told you_, it wasn't like that. All that lesbo stuff's supposed to be a sin against the bible anyway."

"Really? Not that I'd be worried about that." Now, Sayaka leaned forward, one hand on the table, "I think there's some things you'd like to tell me, but feel like you can't. If I can do anything to help–"

"You're actually quite perceptive. But there's no way you can help me. My world's different from yours; you couldn't solve it; you'd only hurt yourself if you tried. Seriously; look out for yourself."

Sayaka deliberately looked away as Kyouko finished her coffee and walked out.

–0–

"Sayaka? You really..."

"Yeah." The newest Puella Magi in Mitakihara laughed bashfully, "I thought about everything you said and how I'd always regret doing nothing when those Witches would still be out there. And...I thought about Kousuke. The long and short is, I'm in this to the end."

"Bitter or otherwise." Mami smiled as she passed out the tea, "I'll do my best to take care of you, Miss Miki."

"...It's just, since we told you everything...another Puella Magi's arrived in town." Madoka hesitantly related, "Mami says she's strong and really stubborn, so we might even end up fighting her."

"Ooo, a strong rival character?"

"You'll see," Mami raised her teacup, "To Sayaka and Kyousuke." Blushing, Sayaka responded to the toast.

As Puella Magi, Sayaka and Kyouko recognised each other instantly, but still took some time to make any response.

"...oh, it's you. The blue buffoon."

"Oh. The stuck-up hobo."

* * *

**Fragment 3: Timeline 13**

With Mami dead, things became much simpler. Kyouko could even have shared the city with Sayaka, but there was no knowing when her good deed would've received its punishment. Besides, she hadn't suffered as much as she had to be beaten without a fight, by a drippy idiot with a pathetic crush on some boy.

"...I'll tell you how to keep hold of your man. Break his arms and legs so he can't ever leave you..."

Sayaka had turned away from violin boy's front door, and was looking at her. Kyouko noted the broiling anger in her eyes with satisfaction. Of course, the aim of her speech was to ruin Sayaka's judgement. Not that she would've minded a reason to mess Kyousuke up even worse than God had. A girl who loved him had given her life so he could keep on fiddling (probably with himself). And the oblivious turd didn't care if she was sad, happy or about to get beaten within an inch.

Sayaka faced her on the overpass, unchangeably resolute. Kyouko glared at the enigmatic Akemi Homura, waiting to one side like a duel's referee. She wouldn't let Kyouko kill Sayaka and hurt her precious Madoka's sensibilities. Despite her bluster, and a few points in their last fight when she'd lost control, Kyouko wasn't about to cross that line herself. She'd have to just keep laying on the punishment...until what?

Within three minutes, Sayaka was a mess. Her arms and legs shone with red; Kyouko had slammed her into the barriers with rupturing force. Struggling up from her knees, glaring through the blood from her scalp, she waved her sword above her head. Kyouko flicked it over the edge, and slammed the butt of her spear into the girl's neck.

"Weren't you going to show me the error of my wicked ways, huh? All that talk isn't worth shit, honey. This is what happens to idiot white knights who charge into hell without thinking."

"...wrong." Sayaka's eyes rolled sickly, as she hauled herself up on the barrier "Can't you see this is wrong, you're wrong? We should be fighting Witches, saving people..."

"You remind me of my father," Kyouko found herself quoting a film, "I _hated_ my father..."

Throat tight, she hit Sayaka again. She had to keep hitting, until this girl stopped fighting forever; if that were only possible. Until she confessed that she, Kyouko, had always been right. Until something changed. Sick with frustration, she drew her spear back;

"SAYAKA! Kyouko! NO!"

Kyouko barely saw the tiny pink-haired girl between her and Sayaka, before a purple flash whisked it away. Sayaka was already toppling forward, trying to push Madoka away, and throw herself on the spear again, like a Samurai straining to oblivion. The sneer died on Kyouko's lips, as her blade somehow struck the blue gem in Sayaka's navel. It shattered and she fell, her swordswoman's attire dissolving back to the uniform of a dead schoolgirl.

"It...was an accident! It was bound to happen! Stupid, stupid..."

Madoka's knees gave way, as she stared at the second corpse of her life, the first she had had a part in making. With a whimper, she reached out.

–_Madoka?–_

Kyubee trotted to her side, with a beatific smile. Homura's berretta was in her hand, but as Madoka bawled out her wish that Sayaka Miki would live a full and normal life, she could not move to stop her. As white light burst around the falling Madoka and Sayaka's eyelids fluttered. Eyes wild, Kyouko turned to Homura.

"So, your girlfriend's a Puella Magi after all, eh? And I did it, didn't I? I messed everything up." Homura stared at Kyouko silently. The redhead stamped her foot and screamed out. "You bunch of stupid lesbians! Ain't any of you got the guts to kill me?"

Throwing her arm back, she flung her spear straight at Homura's head. As Homura leaned aside she raised her gun and unloaded it into Kyouko. The redhead jerked shortly, and collapsed, frilled dress dissolving in the spray of blood.

As Akemi Homura set off to begin another timeline where Madoka might possibly be saved, the last she saw was Sayaka kneeling over Kyouko's body. Whispering that she was an idiot, again and again.


	3. Chpt 2: Lonliness

**Fragment 4, Timeline 14**

It was Homura who told Sayaka about her Soul Gem. Kyouko watched as something the girl had trusted her whole life become monstrous. She knew her own eyes must've looked like that; a helpless creature trapped by madness beyond understanding.

The next day, she told Sayaka about her father, and what she had to accept to ever regain a pinch of happiness. Sayaka said she was sorry for condemning Kyouko ignorantly, but she wouldn't give up on saving others; it was all she cared about. She looked as beautiful and cold as a living statue; descending from the altar. Leaving Kyouko behind.

What would it matter if she'd taken a stolen apple? From the minute she'd listened to Kyubee, Sayaka had Fallen, but she was going to smash into the ground before she faced it. As if a girl who went wrong meant nothing at all.

"_You're going to die within a month, and no one but us will know why! It's a shit world but I didn't make it! How can it be right to die for ignorant twats when you matter by yourself? Just value your bloody life. Or we're both going to die alone."_

Kyouko didn't say it, as Sayaka walked out of the church. She didn't tell Sayaka that she was a self-righteous, irresponsible bitch; she didn't try to break her because she knew she couldn't.

The silly girl had said she was sorry. After Kyouko had almost killed her, and shown the worst of herself, Sayaka had taken her share of guilt without pause. Kyouko didn't understand it, but she'd felt light inside; even a little bit forgiven. As frustration and anger coursed back, she smothered the fire with a second apple, then a third.

–0–

A bum with a suit under his filthy overcoat was slouched opposite the church. Kyouko put it off for some time before she sat next to him and offered an apple. _He_ didn't make objections as stupid as they were unanswerable, but ate it, burped vodka fumes, and told Kyouko what she had dreaded;

"Uhh…thanks kid. Take care now, you hear? And stay away from religion."

"I will. I think I'll stay clear of _that_ as well." Kyouko jerked her head at the bottle hanging from the man's fingers. He growled bitterly;

"Drink didn't put me here, girl. Sold my house to move from Toyko, quit my job…'none give up without getting back a hundred times' et-fucking-cetera. All after I heard Pastor Sakura…oh, I cried buckets. Wife wouldn't hear him, left me, didn't actually care. Then Pastor Sakura…he couldn't take this hideous world, so what chance did I ever have? Even God can't help failures like us." The former assistant-deacon in the Sakura church sunk a long pull on his bottle then looked at Kyouko again, "Have I seen you around…?"

"No. You haven't. But if you don't believe God can help you, help yourself. You've got children. Just...take some responsibility."

Kyouko marched away, rapidly leaving the man behind. The rush hour had long finished, leaving the streets empty and heavily shadowed in the sunlight. Kyouko reached a deserted playground in the shade of a cherry tree, and studied the last apple from her bag. With nobody left to take it from her, she sat on a swing and ate it by herself.

She swung herself slowly, but it brought nothing back. She could never mend the damage she'd done to others; the one who could truly forgive her was dead. Like Eve, she was cast out of paradise forever. But Adam had always gone with Eve; Kyouko had always carried her choice alone.

She couldn't help anyone without the terror of blood and her father's voice stabbing through her–the knowledge that humans she touched died in torment. She had tried to live without helping or needing anybody, as a demon girl ought to. Even offering food to a tramp brought back the weight of her sin and her punishment, but it seemed she couldn't live without touching humans. She couldn't get close without putting her head in the dragon's jaws, but she couldn't abandon Sayaka Miki.

* * *

As Sayaka walked away from the church she wondered why she wasn't crying. She'd felt like collapsing in silent tears from the minute she'd heard Kyouko's story–but it was like a famine killing thousands in Africa, or a musician's broken hand. You had to stop yourself crying where anyone could see, because there was nothing else to do about it but go mad.

She couldn't have taken the apple–no matter how sweetly Kyouko had smiled, like the witch in Snow White. If she put herself in the callous redhead's debt, or accepted that her lifestyle was right, she would have been defeated, and never be able to save anyone again.

Was there anything she could say Kyouko would hear? The girl was stubborn, selfish, a thief who abandoned innocent victims, and a victim so innocent it squeezed Sayaka's heart. The world seemed to have formed a system for tormenting Kyouko, and Sayaka knew that she had been part of it. She was really and utterly sorry for insulting Kyouko and trying to kill her without knowing anything–but to somebody from Kyouko's life, what was that worth? Without growing another soul to sell to Kyuubee, nothing Sayaka could do would mend her mistakes.

Was this what it was like to believe in God? A grim, irreducible standard, nearer than your skin, judging and remembering every careless word?

–_That's the abyss, rather than God, Sayaka. Disposables are cleared from your head, and you see yourself against the darkness of space. The true significance of your actions appears; there's no God to judge them. It's only you.–_

"Well, I still believe in right and wrong. I suppose selfish people like Kyouko make more sense to you?"

–_Very little humans do makes any sense to me, Sayaka. You live by the moralities you chose yourself, but neither of you are content. Why not talk to Kyousuke about your worries? I understand that a valued human friend...–_

Kyubee nipped into a bush, as Sayaka shot a death glare at him. Kyousuke was her most wonderful friend and the other half of her soul, but she could never ask for his help. She had to be strong for the times he would need her; like the knights who loved from afar without ever voicing their hearts.

It should have been enough. But a few hours later Hitomi spoke to her, and she knew it wasn't. The abyss inside her own shell gazed back, like a dream-eating monster.

–0–

It happened to be a rare family dinner night. Sayaka sat between her mother and father, who talked about a bombing in Iraq with mild sympathy.

"Dad? If I'd done something really...stupid, that would hurt you, like drugs, phone dating, or getting you fired from work...what would you do?"

"Well, I suppose I'd tell you to stop. You're not taking drugs are you?"

Mr and Mrs Miki smiled at each other. Their daughter had done her best to be a perfect yet ordinary girl for them since she was small; by now they trusted her to get on with it. Sayaka tried once more to ask her mother about the worst thing she had ever thought, but got a giggly, rambling story that did nothing to quell her impossible fantasy of chopping Hitomi to bits.

Under Madoka's loving concern, Sayaka broke down, and wept on her. She hated hating Hitomi; she hated the shudder in Madoka's chest. She would rather lose every friend she loved than hurt them. And if she could no longer be needed by anybody, it was better to die than live a useless life alone.

How long had Kyouko been alone, under her father's curse? How could she flash that toothy smile, and keep fighting every day? Sayaka could picture her, beautiful and terrible in the red dress. A worthy rival; an unreachable enemy.


	4. Chpt 3: Training

**Fragment 5, Timeline 21**

It was quite possible that Homura had deliberately induced Hitomi to reveal her crush on Kamijou Kyousuke just as Sayaka had been passing outside the classroom. It had made Sayaka re-examine her own feelings and her reasons for becoming a Puella Magi. Finally, she had rejected selfish dreams and Contracted simply for Kyousuke's sake, to give him back his music and his life. He would play _Ave Maria_ at the city hall, and she would listen every night from the front row.

Days later, she had visited Kyousuke in hospital, and Hitomi's undeniably attractive face had flashed before her eyes at he smiled at her. She had blurted out a confession. He had blinked a bit, and said yes.

The next day, she had found out about their Soul Gems.

"...Sayaka?" Sat beside her on the bench, Kyousuke was looking at her curiously. "Is anything wrong?"

"Ah, er, no, nothing at all, aha! Say, we could...go for a Karaoke this evening? No, I didn't mean that, I mean not a Karaoke..."

"Yeah, Karaoke sounds good. Songs with words might be interesting. Just relax a bit, ok? I'm the prima dona here, and you're the one with some sense."

Sayaka felt like ten billion yen, but she didn't see how she could ever be calm. Madoka had spent half a night imploring her not to simply break up with Kyousuke. Even if she was a zombie, he was the one for her, she could still make him happy, they could still find some way out. Kyouko had just asked, was her love really that weak?

The truth was, she couldn't stop. Zombie she might be, but a Roman candle still exploded in her breast as Kyousuke took her arm. He was smiling quietly, as if she was She was betraying him with dishonesty, but she was hooked.

* * *

His warmth was still in her side, as she fought Elsa Maria. Somehow she had hacked through the black snake heads to the kneeling shadow. With a heart feeling stronger than twenty Witches, she shot forwards.

"Oy, WATCH OUT!"

Sayaka's mind lurched back into awareness; she barely ducked back as tentacles burst from Elsa Maria like a single treetrunk. Above her, Kyouko dropped towards Madoka, watching Sayaka narrowly. Having no intention of looking foolish before her rival, Sayaka ploughed through the nets of shadows, cutlass flashing a silver sphere on every side. She took some bad wounds, but finally cut the Witch down, and replenished herself with the Grief Seed.

"Well done, Sayaka-chan–"

"A total mess," Kyouko interrupted Madoka, "Literally painfully to watch."

"You know, I really don't care," Sayaka mustered an air of urbanity as her wounds slid closed, "I killed a Witches, I have the grief seed, I have a date with Kyousuke tomorrow. Not even you can upset me today."

"Oh yes? Well, if you keep charging in like an idiot, Kamijou-kun could be looking at a dead girlfriend any day now–"

"Kyouko-San, that was too much!" Madoka suddenly fumed, "Sayaka tries her best, and she's already worried about Kyousuke!" The shy girl flinched as if regretting her own boldness, but Kyouko responded with the confusion of someone attacked by a rabbit.

"I'm, I'm just saying you've got to draw their attacks out with a few fake runs; sometimes even throwing weapons does it. You have to weaken most Witches with a wounding blows rather than going straight in. With that sword, you can't get by without movement magic. Always use it when you attack full out, unless you mix things up with weapon expansion or something. And if things go south, you'd be an idiot not to have planned an exit already!"

"Thank you kindly for the unrequested advice," Sayaka sniffed, "Let's go, Madoka."

The next time Kyouko ran into Sayaka she was fighting Uhrmann's brightly coloured Familiars. Rather than get into another argument about Familiar hunting, Kyouko watched from hiding, as Sayaka leapt around the underpass. She took some time to pick off the bumbling canine Familiars one by one, and slightly messed up an unnecessary sword lengthening attack, but it seemed she was trying to follow Kyouko's advice.

* * *

"Seriously," Sayaka didn't need to look round at Kyouko, "Don't you have better things to do than stalk us?"

"Got a couple of Grief Seeds already this week. Thought I'd see how you two were doing. Not too well, right?"

"We haven't found any more Witches for three nights." Sayaka mopped her brow. She hadn't changed out of a long skirt and puff-sleeved top from another date, "Probably nothing unusual, but I could seriously be doing something else."

"Something adult with Kyousuke? Eeee, you seemed such a virtuous maiden too. I bet you've been using more movement and weapon magic than you had Grief seeds for as well?"

"Kyousuke would never do something like that! Anyway told me to use more magic attacks–"

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd listen!" Kyouko hid her smile, as Sayaka went very red.

"Kyouko-San, can you tell us how we can find Witches?" Madoka interrupted, "We've looked around lots of accident blackspots, and all the hospitals."

"Stations can be better than hospitals–actually it's worth checking the papers for suicides around building sites or hotels; anywhere really. And you haven't checked the red-light district at all?"

"Mami did mention that," Sayaka went even redder, "But it's hardly a safe place for young girls–"

"Not safe?" Kyouko howled with laughter, "Just tell 'em with your eyes that you can break their skulls like walnuts. We could head there now, unless you're too prissy to save hookers from a horrible end."

* * *

Mitakihara's vice district presented a contrast between the unreconstructed brick buildings and the garish signs bolted onto them. Men in sharp suits swaggered past, pushing careless punters off the pavement. The few women actually on the street had a closed, dark look whenever they thought no one was watching them. The trio even saw girls their own age around the dark hotels on the periphery.

"Yeah, this is the humanity you were so desperate to save." Kyouko put on her most devilish grin, "And I saw a town councillor down here once, so it's not just some of them. Do you really want to bust your arse for hypocrites and scumbags?"

"Oh shut up. Whatever kind of scum there are, I'm still me." Sayaka closed her eyes proudly; her brisk walk and the tilt of her chin put a feeling in Kyouko's chest she wasn't sure about.

"Y-yeah." Madoka looked nervously around, "And even awful people can always change..."

"I...guess so. Hey don't worry Madoka, alright?" Sayaka squeezed her friend's hand. As they walked on, Kyouko reflected that she should have found the idea of people completely changing into someone else easier than Sayaka did.

Her father had preached to Yakuza on the streets at times, with courage born of desperation. After Kyouko's wish, gangsters and prostitutes had knelt before him to reject their past lives for God. She'd heard that some of them were still in the church. Kyouko was still herself, though, and people who changed were something frightening. Though if her father _hadn't_ changed, and murder had always slept in his soul, that might be worse. But if the love that had upheld her childish life had been true, and then her father had still stabbed her sister and mother to death, what was any truth worth? If the way of all flesh was corruption, nothing could be good.

"...anyway," Sayaka was lecturing Madoka, "I hope this experience teaches you to steer clear of boys."

"Sayaka, that's not fair when you've got Kyousuke..."

"Oh, Kyousuke's special...I'd love him whether he were a boy or a girl or anything else." As Sayaka smiled, Kyouko's strange feeling flared.

"Wha...! Don't say weird things like that–!"

"It'd be forbidden love, wouldn't it?"Madoka's eyes were bright, "Kyouko-san, you sound just like Hitomi-chan. _And_ you're red."

"I...what...! _I meant_ I hope you're not going to be one of those girls who goes after a guy so much she doesn't have time for her friends." Kyouko huffed.

Sayaka's mouth hung open–finally she and Madoka burst out laughing together, and Kyouko joined in. As a hopeful young man swaggered up to Sayaka, and Kyouko death-glared him into a stain on the pavement, they barely stopped laughing.

"Ooo!" Sayaka dug out her Soul Gem, as it reacted to a nearby Witch, "Looks like you were right...and I spotted it first..."

"Knock yourself out–or, actually, try not to." Kyouko shoved her own glowing soul gem deep into her pocket. Just for once, she didn't want to be selfish.

Like many Witches, Roberta looked more strange than deadly. But as Sayaka hammered against the rotating bars of the Witch's protective birdcage, yellow alcohol fumes ensnared her wits. Next, she was inside the birdcage, and a fanged mouth was opening up above Roberta's disembodied legs. Kyouko had to stab it between the bars, pull Sayaka away, and slap her back to her senses. When they both finally smashed the cage to pieces and stabbed Roberta until she was dead in a frenzy of disgust, Sayaka pushed the Grief Seed into Kyouko's hands.

"Looks like you need it more, rookie–"

"Take it! I may be useless, but I'm not going to depend on you–!" Eyes still full of panic and frustration, Sayaka collapsed onto Kyouko's shoulder.

* * *

"Sorry about back there, and thanks. I just let it get to me. Guess I've still got too much to learn." Having led Kyouko back to Sayaka's house as the blue Puella Magi recovered from overusing strength-boost magic, Madoka had slipped away. Kyouko and Sayaka were loitering outside the latter's apartment, on the verge of parting.

"Sure, you've got to learn. I bet you're not even normally thinking that you could die in a battle, am I right?"

"I'm certainly feeling it now...but I'd be paralysed if I thought about dying all the time. I just face the enemy head on, and always fight believing I'm going to win."

"If you don't think about dying, you're not facing it, Sayaka. We've got no backup, and we're fighting monsters. You've got to think every minute about how they're going to try and kill you, and how you're going to stay alive. That's the only way you can learn."

"I know you're the veteran," Sayaka looked away, "but I'm a rookie; I can't just change because you tell me something like that. I bet you were scared when you started out as well."

Kyouko struggled to recall. She hadn't thought about death herself for some time–since her father had stabbed her in the chest, it had become starkly clear that she would live through things rather than die from them. Her life before then was difficult to hold as a dream; painful and shamefully pleasant. Sayaka was looking at her with clear, expectant eyes; though she'd never even thought she could help her, Kyouko needed something to say.

"Yeah. At the beginning, I was scared all the time. I could only face up to it, because there were people I had to stay alive for. You've got people like that too, Sayaka, so don't you dare–"

All the breath went out of Kyouko as Sayaka leaned in and hugged her, quickly and hard.

"You too." She whispered, "I mean–"

Breaking away Sayaka rushed into the building, leaving Kyouko outside. Running up the stairs, and leaning against her apartment door, she breathed in deeply.

Earlier that evening Kyousuke had kissed her for the first time; even without a soul, it had been the happiest moment of her life. But feeling Kyouko's body against hers had been different. Her chest seethed with confusion, but it had somehow felt completely honest.

Change was definitely frightening. There was no avoiding it, if you wanted to stay alive; but you never knew what place you would end up in, even when you had got there.

For a few days practise and Witch-hunting prevented Sayaka and Kyousuke from meeting up; when they finally got a chance to meet and revise together, Sayaka couldn't help heading there early. So she saw him sat beside Hitomi on the bench, looking heart-stoppingly serious, as she talked to him sincerely.

* * *

"Sayaka, what is it?"

"Nothing. I mean, I...didn't know you were good friends with Hitomi."

"Oh, er, Shizuki-San? She seems a very nice girl, but we're not really acquainted..."

Panic crowded Sayaka's head, as Kyousuke looked awkwardly away. Hitomi could still take the boy she fought for away. She was beautiful, intelligent, assertive. There was no chance she would die and leave Kyousuke alone; her soul was in her body, not a gem. Sayaka knew she was monstrous to suspect her boyfriend when she was deceiving him about even what she was, but losing him, the soulmate she'd given her soul for was something she couldn't face...

"Sayaka? You're crying." She sniffed, and squeezed Kyousuke's hand.

"Sorry. I just don't–"

"Sayaka, Hitomi came to talk to me about you, just now. She'd heard some weird stories about you roaming around town at all hours of the night this week; even some really awful places. Hitomi said Kaname-San wouldn't tell her anything, but she knew something was up with you. You've got lots of good friends, Sayaka."

Sayaka had never felt more trapped–she was terrified for a second that something about her hugging Kyouko had got back to Kyousuke–no, that wasn't the issue. She had to explain herself to the boyfriend who wanted to help her, and become a shameless liar. She looked at his earnest face, and couldn't speak.

Sayaka closed her eyes. Her samurai ancestors must have felt this when their lords order them to murder or lie. If they followed, their honour was gone, if they did not, they would lose the reason of their lives. Now, as then, there was only one way out. Take up the sword, place it against your flesh, and push.

"Kyousuke...I've been dishonest to you. I'm so sorry. I'm not worthy to be you girlfriend...I'm sorry..."

"Sayaka, you're my best friend–you've always been there for me. The look in your eyes since last week, this whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing, wandering about late at night...something's obviously wrong, and I can't just leave you alone with it! Are you in some kind of trouble? Whatever it is, I won't–"

"...this 'whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing'?"

"Yeah, as I said, you're a friend I'd do anything for–Sayaka!"

Sayaka put her head down and ran. Kyousuke shouted after her, trying to follow with his crutch and bad leg–tears poured onto Sayaka's empty chest.

She wished she'd never known about her soul–but then Kyouko would have beaten her until she was broken, and they would never have imagined they could be friends. Kyouko had told her she would regret. Sayaka couldn't bear to admit she'd been right.

* * *

The next night. Sayaka and Madoka found a shadowy familiar of Elsa Maria around the back of a public bathroom. Sayaka couldn't stop it tearing chunks from her because of her pain in her heart, so she shut off pain completely, until there was nothing but chopping up the entangling shadows as she laughed.

"Sayaka!" Kyouko had appeared in the barrier, "What the hell are you doing–?"

She barely dodged Sayaka's blow. Blood ran between the blue girl's teeth as she made something like a grin.

"Yeah. It's a Familar. Well, _screw you_."

"Sayaka, what happened to you?" Madoka wailed. As Sayaka came for her, stinking of blood and madness, Kyouko couldn't say anything because she was crying like a child.

From outside the barrier, Homura watched them fight. However little hope this timeline held, she could only follow it to the end.


	5. Chpt 4: Trauma (rated M)

**Fragment 6, Timeline 23**

"Hello, would you like this leaflet about the word of God?" The foreigner didn't stop talking when Kyouko glared, so she told him where to put his leaflet.

"...don't worry, Duncan" An older evangelical murmured, "God's already struggling with her and she doesn't like it..." Kyouko quickly lost the pair in a crowd of slumming youths, and restaurant workers heading to their shifts

The street-chatter receded as Kyouko swiped into the cheap hotel where she currently slept rather than lived. A few unhealthy-looking salesmen were idling in the lobby, along with a well-dressed thirtyish woman in heavy makeup. She smiled vaguely at Kyouko.

"Oh, the cute girl. Want a soft drink?"

Kyouko carried on to the stairs, past the tourists playing pool. She didn't like the woman's expression or the thought of being mothered. She passed floors of rooms she could no more enter than a prisoner could move freely between cells. Reaching her own door, Kyouko pulled her jacket and boots off before hitting the bed.

–0–

She woke around eleven, three hours later. The room wasn't just empty; no other human would ever come to it, until she had quit the four plastered walls like a ghost. As if she hadn't been living without a clingy sister and early-bird mother for nearly two years, the emptiness hit her in the gut every time. She spent every hour she could on the street, wandering to avoid her room and make sleep a blank hole, free from nightmares. When that wasn't enough–Kyouko crawled over the bed, and ate cold hotdog with chocolate bars, in her underwear.

At least hotels had thin walls. You could listen to people beside, below or above you, and feel like you were part of a human system, not one of aliens and zombies.

The couple on the right were having sex again; Kyouko was surprised she'd slept through it. No, it didn't sound...Kyouko went red as she realised it was two women. Almost certainly bound for hell–but who wasn't, these days? The couple in the room below were talking louder than they could've realised; Kyouko could make out that the woman was asking the man when he would leave his wife. A slapping noise broke through the words; it was repeated a few time, above faint sobs. After four weeks of that sound periodically interrupting her sleep, Kyouko was thinking of finding another hotel.

Days later, Kyouko was heading back to her room again in the early evening, when she sensed a target. Trying not to attract its attention, she identified the colour-tinged shadow passing along the front of a laundry as a Familiar, near full growth. More intriguingly, it was heading for her hotel.

Grinning as she stepped lightly over a drunk, Kyouko was careful to let the Familiar enter before her. She still spotted a man who she recognised as the occupant of the room below her collecting his keys at the desk. He looked like a salaryman. She imagined his family thought he was sleeping at the office. His woman wouldn't turn up until an hour later; he'd hit her twice in four weeks for forgetting. Kyouko could only imagine that the poor girl was hopeless enough to feel that she deserved it.

Kyouko followed the familiar when it entered the hotel. She found herself grinning around her lolly, as it slid under the door of room 13, the room below her own.

"Lucky. Witch spawning right on my doorstep. And after that bastard jumps out the window or something, I'll finally be able to sleep. Only trouble is–"

Sayaka clumped up the stairs and looked Kyouko over, raw eyed. She clearly hadn't gone back to her nice house and parents for days–she looked as stark as the zombie she was.

"Kyouko, that thing's mine. Stand aside."

"Let me put it simply," Kyouko sneered, one hand on her hip, "This isn't your Familiar, it's my Witch. Unless you want another beating, toddle back down those stairs, now."

"How can you grin like that?" Sayaka brandished her sword more like a torch against the darkness around her than a weapon, "How do you live?"

"Mind over matter, honey. I don't mind. So you don't matter!"

"They're innocent people, like your family!" Sayaka was almost sobbing, "How can you wait outside while–?"

"You don't know jack, and you never will," Kyouko snarled, "Men who hurt their families–the best of them are better dead! And that man in there is the sickest fu–!"

A dull thunk came from room 13, followed by a woman's low moan. Kyouko spun and both girls dashed down the corridor.

As Kyouko's roundhouse kick smashed the door back, Sayaka dived through to cover the woman's body. Before the Witch-kissed man could bring the ashtray down again, she laid him out with a swordhilt to the chin. Kyouko caught the woman, whose face and hair were stiff with blood, as Sayaka charged into the Familiar's barrier. As Kyouko used magic to stop the bleeding, she recognized the woman who'd offered her a cold drink. Her left orbit had been smashed, crushing the eyeball.

"I didn't know," She trembled, hugging the woman harder, "It's not my fault..."

"You're crying," Sayaka trudged back and stood over her, "Not used to seeing the people you leave to die up close?"

"Of course not! I'm not a sadist..."

"Seemed like you enjoyed beating me."

"I–no–I didn't want this. It's this world, this–"

Sayaka hauled Kyouko up by her collar–the injured woman slumped to the carpet.

"Stop making excuses. It's you, Kyouko. _Take responsibility_."

Sayaka walked away. She didn't turn aside from the Witch-hunt when Kyouko grabbed at her cloak.

"Alright, it's me! This is me! It's the only way I can live, when I can't help anyone and I–killed–it wasn't my fault! Even you don't care about people any more, Sayaka! If you're a hero of justice, save me!"

As Sayaka trudged down the stairs, Kyouko fell against the doorframe, sobbing, and smacking her fist into it. A few sleepy voices shouted at her to be quieter–it was the kind of outburst the hotel's regulars were used to shouting down.

–0–

"Hello, would you like this leaflet about the word of God?"

It was morning. Kyouko had eaten so much that she felt sick, but she felt alive again. She gazed at the evangelical wearily–he looked a typical middle-class college boy with 3-day stubble, his round hazel eyes dull yet sleepless. A worrier, who hoped a world he knew nothing about would turn out right.

"If God cares, why is everything wrong?"

"Don't we need God _because_ of everything wrong in the world? I mean, it's people who sin–"

Kyouko snatched the leaflet from the young foreigner's hand, and strode off. Luke 6:37 presented itself. _Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive others and you will be forgiven._

Even when she'd believed in God, that one had been tough. If it didn't mean admitting that all the hypocrites who'd laughed at her father were right, what did it mean? Had she even been better, or happier, as a Christian? She'd been an ignorant, hungry little brat full of resentment; only her family had brought her happiness. And then her father had taken happiness away. And while she couldn't accept that the kind father she loved could have responsible for such a horror, she would never truly be able to forgive him. He would never forgive her, because he was dead; so she would suffer for as long as she lived.

Maybe you had to accept that you were hopelessly wrong, not the world, to repent and forgive. But Kyouko knew she couldn't do that, and nor could Sayaka. Whether God could still come to save her, or even another struggling human, facing the darkness her Soul had gathered was too hard to do alone.

She threw the tract into the gutter, and strode on into the city.

* * *

**Fragment 7, Timeline 5**

"Well? Where did you find her?" Mami hid her smile, as Kyouko looked distinctly awkward. The veterans were sitting on bench near a kids park, where Sayaka and Madoka were getting to know the human little girl Kyouko had surprisingly acquired.

"Witch got her parents. I came in before it got her. Little brat's followed me around for days."

"Goodness–it must be love at first sight?"

"Mami, you know that sounds dirty. I'm just showing her how to stay alive, until she can get by on her own. The girl's obviously helpless as a dead duck right now."

"Yes. Not everyone can be as strong as you've been, Kyouko, I'm glad you appreciate that. Just don't make her do anything bad, like stealing or overeating. She won't say no to her big sister, so you must be aware of her feelings."

"Is that like how your two kids never say no to hunting Familiars?" Kyouko's eyes narrowed, "You're really shafting them both by teaching them your troublesome morality, you know?"

"Well, neither of us is being completely selfless, yet we're still both caring for our juniors. If I can say so Kyouko...I'm very happy for you."

"What for? I'm being selfish, like you said," Kyouko hopped off the swing, smiled, and popped sweets into her mouth as she talked, "That girl's gone through the same hell I did, only for her entire life and she doesn't have a clue how to deal. I know how alone she felt, Mami, all the guilt and fear...but the kid still believes she can have a place, and real family. If I can keep her together until she finds it, I think I'll be happy."

The two veterans rejoined their younger changes. Yuma was laughing as she hung from the monkey bars. Still in her blue Puella Magi outfit, Sayaka was holding onto her legs and encouraging her with oo-oo noises, as Madoka watched happily.

"...kyaa, you're so cute, Yuma! I think when I finally defeat Kyouko I'll have to steal you for myself!"

"I won't let you beat Kyouko! And I'll always be with her!" The small girl scuttled over to stand by Kyouko, smiling at Sayaka.

"Ah, Kyouko," Sayaka rubbed her head, "I guess I misjudged you–you're defiantly not quite as bad as I thought..."

"What praise. I might have misjudged you too actually–you always seemed to have such a stick up your bum, but just now–"

"That's not _quite _how I would have phrased it." Mami interrupted quickly, "But you do certainly change personalities as a Puella Magi, Sayaka."

"Eheh...kinda. I guess I normally just goof around, and brush off all the important stuff. Once the costume comes out, I have to uphold justice and speak my true feelings out loud...I feel more like the real me. Or maybe the better me."

Kyouko wasn't sure. Sayaka was finally open to her and somehow beautiful when she laughed without thought. But her happier, normal persona seemed more distant from Kyouko than she'd ever been.

"Oh. So you'd need the costume to confess to Kamijou-kun...?"

"_Madoka!_"

"Oh, Sayaka..." Mami touched her own cheek, "I'd advise you, if I had any experience myself–"

"Such lies!" Kyouko declaimed, "How far do you need to look, with that slamming body?"

"What's experience?" Yuma piped up. General laughter ensued.

The two groups split in different direction, to prevent any further conflict over Witches or Familiars. As they wandered over darkened sports fields near the playground, Yuma squeezed Kyouko's hand. Her eyes were uncertain, hopeful, just like Kyouko's sister had been when their parents had stormed off to separate rooms and left them alone. Kyouko could see the imprint of long loneliness in Yuma's eyes, but the very present knowledge that they were together for now.

–0–

"...it seems they looked for Yuma-Chan's relatives, but couldn't find any. And then the girl became a Puella Magi, though Kyouko was against it. There really aren't enough Witches for six of us around here, and some territory seems to have opened up near Kyoto. They both left yesterday. I suppose in a year or so, Yuma will take responsibility for the territory, and Kyouko may return. Or she may head off somewhere else."

"Oh." Sitting with her friends in the cafe, Sayaka stared at the ceiling, "Like a wandering Ronin, I guess, living by her own code. She was difficult."

"Sayaka..."

"Yeah, alright. It's just a shame we never got a rematch as friends."

* * *

**Fragment 8, Timeline 25**

"...you know, the North Korean Chef at that restaurant? It turns out he was kidnapping high school girls–the police arrested him yesterday."

"Eee, those foreigners! They should throw all those degenerates out–there's no place for them in a peaceful country..."

As she walked past the coffee-shop where the women were gossiping, Kyouko smiled at that final line. She'd witnessed the last abduction while returning from a Witch-hunt; following the van and tipping off the police hadn't put her to any trouble. She'd shelf-read a paper saying that the victim had been unharmed.

It didn't feel bad at all. It was especially sweet to imagine Sayaka's face, were she ever to hear that her nemesis actually saved people (when it made sense). Kyouko knew that saving them mattered less to her than getting a Grief Seed, but she imagined that the people only cared about getting saved. She'd even tried to help Sayaka but that girl was hopeless to the core. At the rate she was burning magic, Sayaka might as well be charging off a cliff. There were so many people in trouble that that even Kyouko could save a few, but how she could help Sayaka, she didn't know.

Kyouko picked up a Witch's trail much later that day, through a decent residential neighbourhood. She recognised the signal as Stephanie's; very nasty, very good at escaping. About fifteen minutes ahead, her path peeling off to the right side of the street.

The smaller Witches did their best to run from Puella Magi–whistling through tiny gaps like shadows of another world, they often escaped. The way to catch a Witch was while they were feeding. Kyouko could normally finish a Witch off before their Kiss finished working, expect for when the Witch's victims were dead before she arrived. That made her feel empty, but she could bear it.

Kyouko quickly found a house that gave a stronger reaction; Stephanie had settled there for a time. The letterbox said Nakijima. She saw two men standing in the tiny garden, discussing baseball. A little boy was drawing on the kitchen table. His mother was taking dinner from the microwave, and shooing her son into the front room so she could put it out. They seemed a family without wants or cares, but Kyouko didn't resent them for it. The father said good-day to his friend, who left for his own house, and the whole family sat down for tea.

The Witch wasn't around, but it would be back to feed once its Kiss started working. Rather than running after her, Kyouko would wait. Patience and knowledge had served her better in hunting Witches than all the inspiring bible verses and happy ending stories in the world. If only Sayaka could understand that, her knuckleheaded, passionate desire to save others might actually do some good.

–0–

Kyouko watched the family chat and laugh through the window, and presently saw her mistake. They hadn't been Kissed–none of them were about to stab the others to death with a butterknife and stick their head in the oven. The man who had left–It had been thirty minutes since he'd gone home to his family–something lurched in Kyouko's stomach. She ran out into the road, dashing up and down the rows of identical houses, full of families who loved and knew nothing–she was strong enough to run flat out for a day, but now she was panting.

Like natural manic depression, the Witch's Kiss distorted reasons. Maybe the man was browbeaten at work; maybe his wife was growing distant. Maybe his daughter's grades were failing–so her family and the father she loved would change into something hellish–she couldn't get there too late. She wanted to run away from the house before she saw what a child cannot see, but she was kicking the door back and things went dark.

From the position of the bodies, Kyouko guessed she had found the man strangling his daughter with heater cable, and pulled him off in a frenzy that had snapped his neck. His wife must have rushed in on the horror and attacked her barehanded. With magical strength running mad, Kyouko had batted her into the wall, where blood trickled from a rose-like stain. Stephannie was dead as well, judging by the Grief Seed clutched in Kyouko's bleeding fist.

She didn't remember anything, only her Daddy. With a mask for a face, he'd thrown his family down in their blood. Because of her Wish. She'd damned the sweetest man on God's earth and killed like a monster from hell because her soul was under the devil. She was wrong and everything had always been her fault.

Staggering to the kitchen, Kyouko threw cupboards open until she found chocolate. She stuffed her mouth with it, even though it was stolen and sinful, like everything she'd eaten for two years and everything she'd done–

Kyouko vomited the chocolate and everything else over the kitchen floor.

The little girl was coughing, as if she was about wake and see her parents. Kyouko held together long enough to carry the girl away from the house to the nearest police box before she ran and ran.

–0–

"Kyouko?" Sayaka turned, eyes too dull for wariness, "What happened to _you_?"

"You were right; you were always right. You're the best Puella Magi, so take the stupid Grief Seed." Kyouko threw it at her feet, and slumped down against a rubbish bin. Sayaka stared at her eyes.

"You need it–you're–"

"Dying. But I don't need it; no help where I'm going. The judgement, the fire...where Papa is."

"Kyouko, you can't die. You're strong, you're the survivor! What chance have I got...? If you live you can change–!"

"Heh. I did some good. I could've saved so many other kids. But I only ever tried to stay alive, and I even messed that up in the end. I'm such an idiot..."

–0–

A pincer stabbed through Sayaka's midriff; feeling no pain, she hacked it from the arm and threw it aside. Blasts of fire charred her cloak and her skin, but she only launched herself up at the Witches face.

Above the vast scorpion body, the Witch's red armour continued up to her neck, where a veil and nun's wimple hid her head. Demon wings stretched back to her venom dripping tail. One of her human hands still held a bitten apple.

Sayaka hadn't been surprised by the Barrier. Its outer halls were something like a church, hung with banners displaying Kyouko's hideous memories. But the inner sanctuary where the walls burned red was a bare and simple home. Papery figures of her parents, her sister and hundreds more flitted about. Praying and eating together, as a family the monster could watch, but never join again.

Sayaka's shoulder and side were wrecked, and poison burnt in her veins, but when she remembered Kyouko's eyes, she could not fall. Knocking the tail aside, she hauled her second blade through the Witch's neck, leapt up above it, and drove herself down at the crippled scorpion with such force it broke into pieces. She watched the barrier fade away. Then she picked up the Grief Seed and used it.

"No mercy, then?" Homura's level voice behind her.

"She'd never have wanted to keep living like that."

"That's where you're going too, you realise? And soon. What will you do?"

"Keep killing Witches–saving them, really. When I feel it coming, I'll do the honourable thing."

Sayaka was walking away when she heard the Beretta cocked. Without turning, she smiled.

"Of course. You don't trust me to kill myself in time. I'm an idiot, after all, just like Kyouko. I'd definitely make Madoka cry, again...well, go on then. Get it over with."


	6. Chpt 5: Saviour

It had seemed such a good idea. Kyouko had expected to break through the wall behind Mami, beat her badly enough to put those silly-looking schoolgirls off Contracting, and retire for a big meal. Instead she was facing a silly-looking schoolgirl stood behind Mami with a club. Sayaka swung at Kyouko, who leant away, and neatly took her legs out.

"Big mistake, sister."

As she readied her boot, two bullets slammed into Kyouko's arms. She went down hard, as Mami strode towards her.

"You didn't just threaten an innocent girl did you, Kyouko? I believe the only mistake is yours."

Kyouko twitched away, snarling to cover her fear, as the musket barrel went down to her stomach. The pink-haired girl hid her face–

"Mami-San! Um, isn't it too harsh to, well, _shoot_ _her_?"

"Don't worry, Sayaka. This is no worse than rubber bullets to a Puella Magi. Simply a lesson for a bad child."

"Well, yeah, I know she attacked us, and she's obviously a coarse, selfish Yankee with a high opinion of herself, but she's doing more to fight Witches than me and Madoka! I mean...it's showing mercy to enemies! Like _Nanoha_!"

"Sayaka-Chan, _Nanoha_ befriended enemies by beating them up..."

"And I'm afraid real life is quite different," Mami's doe-eyes glanced over Kyouko, a little sadly, "In three years, I've beaten you and fought beside you many times...but I don't think we'll ever understand each other, Kyouko." Mami let her musket rest on her shoulder "You should thank Sayaka."

"For calling me a Yankee? Huh!" Kyouko stuck her tongue out, as the girls trooped away, and stewed in her own bile until she could limp off.

It was infuriating to be saved by a naive, stuck-up bourgeoisie; even more so when she did become a Puella Magi. So naturally Kyouko watched her charge foolishly about and pour her magic away in guilt and frustration, waiting to save her and straighten things out.

* * *

"You can't save her." Homura stood behind Kyouko, "She may not die tonight, but she's charged over the cliff already. We can't even slow her fall."

The Puella Magi watched from a roof, as Sayaka trotted through an alley near the vice district. Her vision was narrow as a hound on a scent, and her breaths too quick; she would probably find a Witch soon, and it probably wouldn't end well.

Kyouko couldn't help thinking it was a waste. Even if her feelings were suicidal and naive, they were still as beautiful as a dream of childhood.

"Yeah. Only death cures stupidity." Kyouko bit the head off her Taiyaki, "Well, _you_ keep her alive this time. I can't watch this shit any more, and I'm not pulling her out again, just to get glared at."

Kyouko leapt away over the rooftops. With enough magic she could do almost anything and defeat any Witch; but something still gnawed at her stomach. Not something–_nothing_ gnawed.

Kyouko slammed her foot into a ventilation shaft; the flat metal clang faded into the night. Even if she stuffed herself until she felt pregnant, she would always be alone. It made her feel utterly helpless.

Distracted by anger, she had strayed into one of Mitakihara's nicer entertainment districts. From the roof of a hotel, she stared down at tiny humans, innocent and unreachable. Salivating over the rising scent of good food, she hopped down to a lower roof. Without purpose her eyes settled on a girl among the laughing crowd, a willowy beauty with wavy hair, in an expensive green coat. On her arm–

Kyouko had only seen Kyousuke once or twice, but she remembered him. Her lips split into a diabolical grin.

"There is a God. A _cruel _one_..._"

* * *

"Hello, hello! Say, know where Sayaka Miki is?" In her casuals, and still grinning, Kyouko swaggered along the street beside Kyousuke and Hitomi. As they glanced at her and walked faster, she matched their pace, "It'd be funny if her_ friends_ didn't know...still, you're young, and you're having fun. Who cares about anyone else who gives their happiness up for some idiot, eh?"

"No, Kyousuke-San, she's no friend of Sayaka's–just a tramp." Hitomi whispered. She turned an icy smile on Kyouko, "Here's 100 yen, now would you kindly leave us alone to enjoy our date?"

"Oh, a _date_? Just when you got your hand back, too, selfish idiots really get all the luck."

"How did you know–?"

"If you don't leave right now–"

"Shut up, before I shut you up."Kyouko snarled, the anger she meant to take out on the couple finally exposed. Kyousuke moved to shield Hitomi. "Violin boy, I can't blame you for being a self-absorbed git, or ignorantly throwing someone who loves you into hell–I'm like that, and I've done that. I will tell you, you're going to be alone one day, and start paying–"

"Where is Sayaka?"

"Huh?"

"I'm not going to let you insult me over things I know nothing about. Tell me where Sayaka is and what I can do to help her."

"Kyousuke-San..." Hitomi clutched his sleeve, blushing and hiding her eyes.

"Okay. You want to see where Sayaka is, and what she's doing? You don't, I reckon, but it seems you're going to anyway."

"Don't go with her Kyousuke! Look, girl, take me to see Sayaka–!"

"Hitomi." Kyousuke squeezed her hand, "I'll get you a cab home. If I don't ring you in an hour, call the police."

* * *

Kyouko quickly picked up the signal of the Witch Sayaka had been tracking. Within fifteen minutes, she and Kyousuke were inside Roberta's barrier.

"I...feel a bit sick," Kyousuke steadied himself on his crutch, eyes almost round, "You slipped me something, right?"

A razor-beaked familiar swooped down at Kyousuke. Red dress flashing over her body, Kyouko struck off its head with her spear.

"This is reality, boy. This is where Sayaka is."

"What...am I supposed to do to save her?"

"Don't ask me! Whack them on the head with your violin?" Kyouko laughed wildly, skewering several more Gotz' as they advanced. She had somehow ended up putting the boy Sayaka loved in ridiculous danger. She had no idea how Kyubey would react to her indiscretion. But she knew how matters would've ended for Sayaka, if she'd done sensible things. The only way to change them was doing something crazy

At the centre of the coloured clouds, Sayaka was lying half-senseless and pecked bloody. The birdcage Witch was descending towards her, teeth bared.

"SAYAKA!" Kyousuke threw his miraculous hand towards her, helpless to do more than scream.

A crowing screech trilled from around the barrier. Kyouko could have guessed that a pair of bloated legs with a fanged mouth between them was a Witch with a serious grudge against men. She shielded Kyousuke as the birdcage hurtled towards them, a missile trailing saliva.

Sayaka's feet smacked down before it. Her cloak billowed as she spun at Roberta, smashing the cage apart with four blows. Her wounds had vanished, and nothing of the berserker that had killed Elsa Maria showed. Sayaka would not look bad in front of the man she loved.

The fangs snapped where her head had been–Sayaka threw out a web of slashes that chopped half of Roberta to ribbons. With an enigmatic look back at Kyouko, and a cry of "This is my finishing strike!" she drove her sword into Roberta, killing her in a fountain of ink. The barrier dissolved, to a deserted courtyard.

Sayaka turned to Kyousuke, and dropped her sword.

"Ah, oh...shi–sugar, Kyousuke-kun! I don't...I'm sorry...what are you...? I...I have to do this–!" Stepping toward her on his crutch, Kyousuke stilled her near-hysterical gestures with his hands.

"Sayaka..." Something was dawning in his eyes, "You talked about magic...and miracles...the day before my body healed overnight. Was that...?" nodding was the hardest thing Sayaka had ever done, "You have to do this, because...?" Sayaka nodded again, "Why?"

"Because I...I didn't know how to tell you..."

"Sayaka...you've always been my rock. The birthdays my parents forgot, the times I thought I'd never play great violin...ever since we were kids, you've been a true friend. But this–how could you–?"

"Because we haven't been friends for years, Kyousuke! I love you. I shouldn't have said that...!" Sayaka fell down weeping. Hesitantly, Kyousuke put his arms round her bare shoulders. "I am a rock, a zombie! My soul's in this gem, if it's throw away, I'll die! I have to fight monsters every night, I'm always afraid I could die, and living on is almost worse! I'm so sorry, Kyousuke–"

"I'm sorry, Sayaka. I thought your friendship was so precious I could never risk it. I thought I'd given too much to music to ever give you enough of myself. But in the end, I was just leaning on you, without considering your feelings...I was a coward."

"What about Hitomi?"

"I didn't think...it sort of just happened. I should break it off with her."

"No! I didn't do all this to blackmail you into...Kyousuke I can't be anything to you, you should...be happy with..."

Sayaka couldn't speak for weeping. Kyousuke raised her face with his right hand, shedding tears himself.

"I know they'll be problems. But I wouldn't even be a man if I left you here, Sayaka. You already own this hand and my music; if it's any help at all, you can have the rest of me."

"Kyousuke. My hero..."

As they clung together, Kyouko returned from a nearby store with a tub of popcorn, still stuffing her cheeks to fill the emptiness. She watched Sayaka's trim body press into Kyousuke's chest, and rubbed hard at her eyes. Sayaka finally rose and marched up to Kyouko, who wondered if she was due a punch in the nose for almost getting lover-boy killed.

Sayaka finally stuck out a hand. The two Puella Magi shook, without meeting each other's eyes.

* * *

"Hitomi. You're going to find this difficult to accept..."

Kyousuke told Hitomi everything. Sayaka stood behind him, still in her magical girl outfit, with bleeding scratches and black blood on her sword. She tried to keep meeting Hitomi's eyes, with little success.

"...okay. I understand, Kyousuke-kun. She healed your arm, saved you from monsters...and became a magical zombie warrior for your sake. I suppose I just can't compete with that, can I?"

By Monday, the rumours had bred as if a mad geneticist had seized control of the school. Sayaka had to assure the Principal that she hadn't been part of a girl gang that had blackmailed Kyousuke. Then assure the Vice-Principal that she hadn't been kidnapped by a girl gang and saved by Kyousuke. Then assure her homeroom teacher that she hadn't attempted suicide to force Kyousuke to go out with her.

After dumping the idol of 2nd grade within days for a middle-ranking tomboy, Kyousuke had acquired playboy status overnight. He reacted to the jokes with anger; the bad temper he'd acquired in the hospital hadn't left his system yet. Sayaka did her best to persuade him not make himself unpopular.

By first period after lunch, Sayaka's desk was covered in insults. Thieving Cat, slut and backstabber were a representative sample.

"Sayaka-chan, I'm so sorry!" Madoka wrung her hands, "Hitomi-chan would never do anything so crude. She hasn't even been in school today."

"I guess she's pretty cut up. And she's got a lot of friends to be crude for her."

"We're still Hitomi's friends, Sayaka-chan! I'm sorry for her, but I'd never do this! I tried to ask Kaori and Rin who it was, but they wouldn't say anything."

"Oh, Madoka. I know it's been the three of us since junior high, but this was just too messy. And it seems Hitomi's friends are going to drop you, unless you drop me. I'm sorry."

"Sayaka-chan, you really love Kyousuke–you gave up your soul for him! It's horrible that you should protect everyone from Witches, and then–this–!"

"Yeah." Grinning, Sayaka playfully punched her desk, and got out a cloth, "After fighting monsters to the death, I'd have to be mental to even give this a thought!"

"Bravo, Sayaka-chan! You look so beautiful when you smile these days..."

"Maybe I'm in love!"

"Oh yes! Or maybe it does the same if someone's in love with you..."

* * *

"...I want...everything to go back to the way it was. Between all of us."

Make-up still streaked on her face, Hitomi gazed up tragically from her fluffy pink bed, covered in soft-toys and chocolate wrappers. From the window, red eyes looked down.

–_That is your Wish, Hitomi Shizuki. Grasp your destiny, as a Puella Magi!–_

Hitomi's heart flew to her throat–but no other feeling but fear coursed through her body. The world was still the twisted place it had suddenly become.

"Do I need to wish harder? Is there a trick?"

–_I'm sorry, but I've made a mistake. It seems you don't have the qualifications to become a Puella Magi–_

"What do I need to do? I won't give up! I was dreadful when I started playing piano, but I practised and worked hard–"

–_And now you're adequately good at piano, aren't you? The same for dance, tea ceremony, schoolwork...but a special talent is nothing to do with work, and hard work is the antithesis of Wishes or Magic. You are certainly not a Puella Magi. You will finish school with adequate qualifications, marry an adequate man, and adequately raise two or three children. You could have been killed by a Witch last week, if Sayaka Miki hadn't saved you, and you won't be dying a hero's death in some gutter very soon like her either. So I wouldn't say you have much to complain about–_

Kyubey vanished from the window. Hitomi gazed after him for a few moments, then sunk her head into her pillow, and bawled.

She wouldn't accept it. There was a railway a few blocks away and several tall buildings. She could clearly picture her parent's shock, Kyousuke and Sayaka's grief and guilt–but she knew, just as clearly, that she wasn't really going to do it.

She could encourage the girls harassing Sayaka–or spread rumours alluding to her nocturnal activities. With her father's influence, she could even force her to drop out of school. In a broken world, things she would have recoiled from a week ago were now temptations she could barely fight.

"Hitomi? It's time for your dance class."

"I still don't feel well, mother. Sorry..." The silence downstairs voiced a great deal, about all the money her father had spent on classes. The public face demanded of a girl lucky enough to be a Shizuki daughter.

Sick to her toes, Hitomi trotted downstairs, bade her mother farewell, and trotted out the front door with an umbrella. Her composure broke as she saw a small form crouched in the drizzled, wet as a drowned pink mouse.

"Hitomi. Your parents wouldn't let me in."

"Kaname-San. I thought it best, considering what happened–"

"Well, whatever you think, I want to speak to you, Hitomi! I've seen one friend cry, take the wrong path, and do horrid things to herself–I lost Sayaka for a week, I don't want to lose you at all! You tried so hard to stay friends with Sayaka, and she tried to do the right thing as well! If you do something to make her suffer, you'll only hurt yourself."

"I tried to play fair by Sayaka, and then she literally steals Kyousuke with magic. I'd give everything she did, but that white rat wouldn't take me. So I'm going to do anything to break out of this world, and if you don't like that–"

"Hitomi, Kyubey said I could be the strongest Puella Magi, but I told him no. Magic and breaking rules never bought Sayaka or anybody happiness–we watched Mami-sempai's head get bitten off! Please, come back, Hitomi. Only our true human feelings can ever give us happiness. You really loved Kyousuke, but Sayaka was your friend–"

Hitomi fell on Madoka's shoulder, sobbing without restraint.

"Why me? And why Kyousuke-kun? I knew he would never care for me as much as her–she's always had real friends, and I only every had you and her! But she wouldn't even give me a tiny piece of him..."

"Shh, shh there, there...she should have told you she liked him years ago, but she was always stupid with stuff like that..."

"Yes, yes, she's so stupid..."

As Hitomi and Madoka began the healing process, Kyubey watched from the corner of nearby house.

"You never make mistakes about Potentials, do you?" Homura appeared beside the Incubator, lips tight, "Your intention was to drive Hitomi Shizuki into despair and rash actions. She would drive Sayaka into despair again, and both their sufferings would push Madoka towards a Contract."

–_Quite correct, Akemi Homura. When you already condemn my morality, I can't imagine why you would expect me to make concessions to yours–_

"Well, you've lost, Incubator. Sayaka is stable, Kyouko is with us. And Madoka will not Contract now. She has found her heart's true power; bringing hope where there was none." For the first time in months, Homura's lips formed a tiny smile.

–_Are you certain of that, Akemi Homura?_–Kyubey licked at his front paws with very feline coolness–_Despair may weaken a Puella Magi. But happiness may kill in an instant, as it did for Tomoe Mami. And there is still one week before Walpurgisnacht_–

* * *

"Sayaka?" Kyouko pattered to the bench in the deserted station, and sat by her, "You should spend more time with your friends, even if you're got a boyfriend now, you know? Actually, you should get home to him–you look nearly spent."

"Guess I am." Sayaka smiled wearily. The Soul Gem in her palm was almost black.

"Sayaka! What the–?"

"I screwed up. I thought it was finished, then it bit me in two. I regrew half a body in half a second before it finished me, but I burnt too much magic. There wasn't a Grief Seed."

"You've always been too reckless–you should've thought of Kyousuke before you got–!"

"I know." Tears ran from Sayaka's eyes, "He'll be sad...but I hope he'll be happier, after a while. I was too selfish, going out with him when this could happen. But I've got no regrets."

"Stupid boy should be _here_–"

Kyouko reached across Sayaka to the cellphone in her pocket–Sayaka held her hand. Their faces were very close.

"Please, Kyouko. I don't want Kyousuke to see this but you...I've barely seen you this last week. Even though we're friends at last. Even though it was always you looking out for me."

"I–what?–come on, Sayaka, you're the hero of justice! I couldn't even..."

"Since I was little, I wanted a hero from a world of beauty and music to save me. Even if someone had to drag him along. I thought so much about one destiny, I saw nothing else. You told me everything in your past; I left you alone, without thinking of your feelings...but you kept fighting, to save me. You're a beautiful Puella Magi, Kyouko–I was so stupid, I never–"

"Sayaka–I'm not going. I'll stay with you."

Sudden as throwing themselves from a cliff, the two girls held each other hard. As Sayaka's body moved against her, Kyouko's eyes went wide. In the same moment, Sayaka's Soul Gem blackened entirely and started bubbling.


	7. Chpt 6: Victory

Within hours of stepping off the Tokyo train, Kyouko had run into Mami. As easily as Samurai or gunslingers, they had found themselves fighting, and Kyouko had ended up half-way through a shattered wall, glaring down a musket.

"Why don't you ever try something different, Kyouko?"

"Like get a job at a massage parlour, or something? This is what we do, so f–"

"I read about the cult suicide in Tokyo last week." Kyouko's eyes shifted, "I still believe we could work together–but if we can't, you have to move on, Kyouko. I have people and friends to protect in this town."

"You must be the sanest Puella Magi I've met; which makes you the craziest bitch in the world. We can't protect anyone. We can kill Witches, we can rescue people time and again–but they die in the end, and there's nothing I can do. I've been dreaming about my family, again. Big, bad dreams. If you don't want me around, shoot away."

"I will not. But if your life is mine, there's something you could do for me. I'm training two Potentials right now. You can have half the town, if you let one of them shadow you, and protect her. I think both of you could learn from each other."

"Yeah. Still crazy."

Kyouko grinned, as Mami pulled her up.

–0–

It had taken all Sayaka's persistence, and some broad hints that shadowing Mami had been much cooler, before she could follow Kyouko into a barrier. Something metallic almost bit her leg off straight away.

"Use your brain! At least use your bloody eyes!" Kyouko skewered the creature and threw up a protective cage around Sayaka, eyes burning, "If you think I'm here to protect you, run home to mummy right now."

Sayaka Contracted the next day. Madoka looked happier about it than she did herself–or maybe alone time with Mami was putting a spring in her step. Kyouko and Sayaka learnt everything they detested in each within a day, but their mode of conflict was competing in battle. Sayaka swore she'd become a better Puella Magi than Kyouko, who promised to shut the younger girl down hard if she suspected Sayaka would _ever_ give her trouble.

Shortly after presenting Kyouko to the fresh, unbloodied potentials, Mami fought a small pink Witch near the General Hospital, and somehow wasn't fast enough in the vital second (Homura swooped in to rescued Madoka, but the latter wouldn't be making a Contract).

Kyouko had resolved that she wouldn't be responsible for Mami's death; frustration sizzled like a senseless ulcer anyway. She couldn't even think of the cool, silent Homura without anger twitching her fists–Sayaka hadn't blamed Kyouko for not saving Mami, but the redhead felt certain the thought was there.

"Have you got it now, idiot?" She stared back at Sayaka, bitterly, "What kind of life you've chosen, and the price?" Sayaka stood like a waiting knight; her grip on her sword was fierce, "What did you even Contract for?"

"Not for myself–for the innocents, despairing on their own. I'll protect them in Mami-San's place, from Witches, and Puella Magi who don't care; you can't stop me."

Kyouko had found herself trying seriously to kill Sayaka in that fight, before Homura had appeared to break them up. Feeling the heat of death shocked them both; without words, they tried to restrict themselves to West and East. They still found themselves drawn together, as if one town wasn't enough to hold them.

–0–

Kyouko stared past Sayaka's blade to her eyes. The resentment still surprised her–not at rejection or poverty, but at the very imperfection of the world. Of course there was desire for justice, hope, earnest struggle and the other things Kyouko could only remember rather than feel for.

"You want another fight? I might mess you up good, this time."

"Fine, I'll just heal it. If you want to shut me up, you'll have to k–"

The spear smashed into the brick wall like a bullet through plaster.

"Do you think that sounds cool, or something? Really think I couldn't do it? We're not defenders of justice. Killing Witches is all we need to do."

"I won't ever understand how you can think that. If I can't get that over with words, I'll fight–"

"Look at your bloody Soul Gem first–you'll burn out inside a month, like this. Think of yourself for a second!"

"Don't pretend you care about me. If you really believe in selfishness, let me take care of my choices by myself. I'm never going to give them up."

"_Choices_–and aren't they selfless ones? I know you've got family, teachers and friends, and they've sheltered you like a princess. And you just threw that life away. Your life, for some Wish and that justice crap, as if all their feelings meant shit to you. You don't know shit Sayaka. You shouldn't ever have become a Puella Magi."

Kyouko's hair whipped at Sayaka's face, as she vanishing down the alley, alone. Sayaka found herself trembling. She'd seen the anger in Kyouko's eyes give way to pain.

–_I'm not allowed to tell you about her Wish, or her family_–Kyubey's voice chimed in Sayaka's head –_But you can see for yourself what they've made her_–

–0–

"Please, Akemi-San. I need to know."

"Then listen." The dark Puella glanced at Sayaka coldly through the front door of her own, lonely in the middle of the junction. Sayaka almost felt like a questing knight or maiden begging help from a witch.

"I know. I know you think I'm an idiot, but I need to help Kyouko. You saved Madoka. Why not someone else?"

"To saving another, you must sacrifice; others and yourself. Are you prepared for that, Miki Sayaka?"

"I'd be stupid to say I know. I don't want to sacrifice anyone. And if Kyouko's the one in danger, I won't hold anything back." Sayaka fidgeted, as Homura gazed through her.

"I don't want to involve myself with you more than necessary, Miki Sayaka; but I think Mami intended to tell you about Kyouko eventually. There are some newspaper articles in the bedside dresser in her apartment."

The articles, with their old tearstains and accompanying map of the places Kyouko and Mami had fought together, didn't make sense to Sayaka at first. Why had a triumphant pastor, changing lives every day, suddenly killed himself? She'd heard of corrupt churchmen, but the police hadn't found anything like that at all–even Sakura's teachings seemed very sensible.

"Kyubey? Couldn't Kyouko have wished her family back to life?"

–_It would be possible. But the Wish she made was almost exactly opposite_–

"But why–?" The other kind of scandal associated with priests dropped from Sayaka's memory like a firebomb.

Kyouko didn't care about human lives; she didn't seem to care about humans at all, and talked as if family love was the cruellest joke in her world. If her father had been the kind of monster that hurt his own family in the dark, what would Kyouko have Wished for?

As much as Sayaka had thought of Kyouko that week, worrying her faults and virtues as in a silent battle, murder was a still a cold, terrible shock. There was nothing she could say to her; nothing she could do but fight Witches.

Sayaka still went to school the next day, where Hitomi sat her down and told her she had a day to confess to Kyousuke. The pillar of hope she'd barely acknowledge had shattered, tipping her into utter chaos.

Madoka had skipped school. Sayaka knew she couldn't pour out troubles to her friend when she hadn't recovered from the moment of death in Charlotte's barrier. Madoka had faced death alone; that really was the worst.

Sayaka found a Familiar of Elsa Maria and cut it down in a messy, insensible fight that left her feeling bitter and dirty. She had aimed to be strong in herself, a protector. But she had never stopped leaning on her friends; now concrete walls had parted them, she was crumbling. Anger that they could never find where she was gnawed like a red worm. Even at Kyousuke. Even at Madoka.

Slumped against a shop window, Sayaka realised that she couldn't survive alone. And she would have to say some hard things to escape.

–0–

The next morning was windy, and Kyouko was passing her father's ruined church. She saw the blue figure kneeling before the altar, and waited with her hand on her Soul Gem.

"Kyouko...I'm sorry!"

"I've said things I haven't kept. I've thought unforgivable things about my best friends, and you...I've thought worse of you than you could ever deserve. I'm sorry!"

"Okay. Look, why are you–?"

"I heard about your family. I thought, because you always say you'll kill anyone to help yourself...that he abused you, and you Wished for him to die."

"I didn't..."

Kyouko's body was moving to fight; but her face seemed to have been stabbed through with her own spear. Sayaka's words seemed to summon a demonic twisted father and daughter that had always existed in her nightmares.

"I thought you had...but I thought, you're not like that. You're always rude and refusing to protect anyone; but when I'm in front of you, you fight to save me. You've never threatened Madoka, because she's helpless–you don't even want to see people hurt, so you fight alone. You're always insulting me, and trying to help me as well; you may be coarse and dishonest but you're caring. I don't know, but I think your father was a good person too."

"Still naive...but when the hell did you start using your eyes?"

"...since you told me to." Sayaka forced the words out. "I don't know that I'm right...but I'm going to trust you. Even when you pretend to be selfish, I'm going to trust your heart...because I'm not perfect either!" It was clearly the toughest admission of her life, "I even Contracted to heal a boy I care for–and now he doesn't care about me, my reason really does seem weak. But it's all I've got. Now, can you tell me your real Wish in return?"

Kyouko strode up to Sayaka, and quite suddenly swung her hand round, smacking her into the altar.

"You stupid, arrogant, self-righteous idiot!"

In a way, it was their most intense fight in any world, with all the torrid brutality of manic-depressive lovemaking. Sayaka had little more skill; but all the shame and broken pride she'd bottled burst out like a furious genie. The voice in Kyouko that knew connections led down to hell fought like a wild beast for its life. Blocking a volley of cuts, she shoved Sayaka back over the altar again. As her spear went back, the cutlass rose to her stomach.

"Can't you ever value your life?"

"It's my nature. As a defender of justice, I couldn't let you go. No–since we were forced together, I couldn't leave you alone."

Kyouko stared into Sayaka's eyes, like the centre of a whirlpool. Her spear sank into the wood of altar, with a sound like a musical note.

"I promised…that I would only live for myself, because I Wished people would listen to Papa, and when he found out he killed himself and Mum and Momo! I've never been able to help or protect anyone, because of that but I've lived on….I'm alright…I'm alive…" Big drops fell from Kyouko's eyes. Sayaka had already said sorry, and everything else; all she could do was hold Kyouko in her arms. She was warm, like a princess made from fire and tears. When Sayaka moved against her chest, Kyouko pulled at her sleeve. "Please…don't leave me alone."

–0–

–_You'll be pleased to hear that Sayaka found Kyouko today and they settled things peacefully. She didn't need you for anything, Madoka–_ A pink head emerged from folds of duvet.

"Really? I'm so glad…"

–_I was hoping things would end this way too, Madoka. Only one Puella can understand another Puella's problems, after all– _Madoka replied with a heartbreakingly guileless smile.

"Oh, Kyubey…are you trying to make me jealous? I am, a bit…but Sayaka-chan and Kyouko-San aren't just Puella Magi together. I think they really have something special."

Kyubey sighed, as Madoka reached for tissues. He could clearly do nothing but wait for an opportune time.

–0–

Sayaka finally went back to the school–she had to do something about Kyosuke and Hitomi's deadline. Whatever intense, surreal future was hurtling in, she didn't want the undercurrent of her soul since childhood snatched away.

But she should do nothing, when she could die tomorrow. She should be unselfish as Kyouko had been, helping and saving her time and again, for nothing but hostile looks and words. She had saved Kyousuke with her Wish. If that was all she could do for him, if she meant nothing else in his eyes, couldn't she accept that?

He was sitting in the library. He was looking to her with a vague, all-radiant smile. She was chattering a few routine greetings and saying nothing.

With incredible effort, she'd poured her feelings out when Kyouko had needed her, for a relationship as bright and crazed as a dream. She'd always known Kyousuke was the man she loved; he was her world and she could lose him. So why wouldn't the words that would change everything leave her? Why couldn't she break down in his arms?

Because she was a Puella Magi; because she couldn't show him weakness. Like Kyouko, she couldn't bear it, like Kyouko, she could only speak her true feelings.

"I….really care about you, Kyousuke-kun, you know? You're a special friend to me."

"Um. Thanks, Sayaka. You're a special person to me as well…"

Kyousuke stared after Sayaka as she drifted away. It was Hitomi who eventually found the lavatory she was crying in.

"Oh, Sayaka…don't worry. He rejected me too."

–0–

"It's possible that Miki Sayaka could help us against Walpurgisnacht." Homura finally allowed, "She would certainly not survive at her current level, however."

Kyouko bit the end off a chocolate bar, "Sayaka…you need to lose the cape."

"Oh, for…it's just a cape! It represents justice–"

"It messes with your footwork! You've started using speed more, but you can't just charge about, you have to weave and jump like you're the princess of Persia. If you can really run up the wall, bloody well run! You should watch action movies to get ideas, and train harder–"

"–and you can go on a diet." Homura very nearly smiled, "So, you've suddenly decided to be my sempai again?"

"Y-yeah. From now on, I'm going to be brutally honest in everything." Sayaka bit back a comment about the extralegal origin of her snack food with considerable effort. "If you want to hunt Familiars…don't you dare come crying to me when your magic runs down, alright?"

"Not a chance." Sayaka grinned. Kyouko passed her an apple while looking away.

Sayaka knew stealing food was wrong, and she knew Kyouko knew it–that was the dishonesty she could barely stand. But Sayaka knew she herself wasn't the shining knight of her dreams; she was flawed, she was lonely. If she accepted that now, she would never become a perfect heroine either. But it wasn't worth the price, if that meant leaving Kyouko behind.

Sayaka bit into the apple. It tasted as bitter as failure, but some things meant more than being right.

Over the next two weeks, Kyouko saved Sayaka a couple more times, but the blue Puella began to win fights as well. The two of them went to an arcade together, once; Kyouko was wearyingly enthusiastic, while Sayaka was awkward. Nonetheless, it drained off tension from the Witch-kisses, battles and the Grief Seeds. Sayaka talked with Madoka again, and Hitomi, and Kyousuke. Even if none of their bonds were without pain, they were a rest from the strain, frustration and guilt between her and Kyouko.

Sayaka ended up invited Kyouko and Madoka to the classical music concert, even if she wasn't sure how she felt about violins now. Kyouko had worried the songs would disturb her memories of church music, but it turned out to be a different kind of beauty. She was happy to see Sayaka smiling, and happy rather than surprised that their hands were joined, for a few perfect hours, as peaceful as the silence of a meadow.

Every day, Sayaka expected a battle to go wrong, or an argument with Kyouko to break them apart again; she was sure they were too separated and headstrong to be bound forever. But for the two weeks until Walpurgisnacht, no disaster came.

–0–

"Are you saying I'm not still good enough? Homura said–"

"Sod Homura! You stronger, but your energy's too damn low. One of us needs to live through this, Sayaka."

The storm muttered above them like a crowd before a curtain. On the building site, shadow darkened mud spread out like a battlefield.

"Kyouko…what do you think I am? I'm going with you," no movement, "You can't except me to stay back–not when so many people could die, when you could–"

Sayaka never saw the punch coming. Kyouko caught her by her shirt as she dropped, and lowered her down. She'd already spotted a hole she could block off with a few magic barriers, in case her friend woke up.

"Oh, Sayaka, you're still an idiot. And you've never watched someone you love, as they die–you don't know how it feels when _you killed them_, and you can't do a thing to stop them going. You couldn't face it–I couldn't, and I _can't_, not again. You always needed protecting; well, I'm going to protect you. If I don't come back, remember me as a selfish, food-stealing liar."

–0–

Kyouko had hardly been able to believe the ordnance Homura had ranged up against the laughter monster in the sky–what would Sayaka have said about such a degree of theft?–but now most of it had flown, and Walpurgisnacht hadn't even slowed. Kyouko herself had maximised the damage by using barriers to concentrate the blasts. She'd even leapt up from the rubble three times to stab at their enemy with concrete-smashing force, dropping out before the Witch or her shadowy familiars could crush her.

Now Homura was blasting the giggling shadows down with short bursts from her Howa assault rifle, as Kyouko jumped from high-rise to high-rise on the monster's other side. Black arrows pattered in the gravel at her feet; throwing spear-sections around the familiars, she pulled two out of the sky and jumped to slash down the third. She was close enough to prepare her Scorpion Tail. A second before she released the energy, the lengthways shadow of an office block fell on two towers at once like a glacier. Kyouko caught a window ledge, dropped as the building shattered and concrete whistled around her head.

She staggered from the crush, bloody and choking on powdered stone. The upside-down monster hung from the blackened sky, laughing as if everything else was the wrong way up, and it would teach the world a lesson by smashing it flat. A thousand years of maniac horror were in that grin; before atomic bombs or the church of God, that wheel had been turning. It was following the road to the public shelter.

Kyouko pulled herself up on her spear. She wasn't going to be crushed. Leaping off the side of a building, she stabbed up at Walpurgisnacht's centre again, scattering familiars. She only saw her reflection at first in the giant window of the tower falling towards her.

A flash shot across the window and hands snatched Kyouko away. Sayaka and Kyouko tore through the gravel of a low roof as the tower crashed down behind them, throwing up water from smashed pipes. Rubble flew around Sayaka; he shoulder was hit, and then a fire-blast from the Witch's head rushed at her.

Homura was in front; her shield took some blast, but her legs were scorched, and she fell.

"Akemi-San! Why did you–?"

"I didn't mean to; it was instinct. And Madoka would be sad if you died. I can't be with her as I am; all my life means is death to–"

Three more Familiars dived onto them. Sayaka got one, Kyouko got another and the third smashed the gem on Homura's hand before flitting away.

"Akemi-San…." Sayaka stared from her body to Kyouko, who bowed her head. "You were right, I'm always being protected. I'd have gone crazy without you, Kyouko….I gave up my life for this…"

"You dummy; it was always you saving me. I'm sorry for being such a fool." Kyouko pulled herself up with her spear, and grasped Sayaka's hand, "Can we fight together, Sayaka? I won't leave you again for anything."

Breaking Kyouko's barriers had eaten into Sayaka's limited power. But she twisted and flipped between the Familiars with the sharpness of desperate will, and barely took a wound. Even when the Witch turned its crushing attacks on her, she rushed from their area; as she escaped, Kyouko prepared the Scorpions tail. Ranks of spears as huge as missiles stabbed down into Walpurgisnacht, and its laughter turned to screaming.

–0–

The sun hurt Kyouko's eyes, and everything else. She was lying in filthy water, feeling as if she'd been skinned and half-choked. There was rebar stuck through her arm, her legs were broken, and in a few minutes, her Soul Gem would hit empty.

Walpurgisnacht was dead, but so was Sayaka was dead. Kyouko had seen her last smile before a stray rock from a building impact had hit her stomach, and an avalanche had buried her corpse. She had dodged six attacks while Kyouko poured out her energy to kill the Witch, she'd done unbelievably well. But now she was dead, and Kyouko was surprised not to mind that she would be joining her soon.

"We're gonna…go to the same place, right, God? God, I'm sorry. I should've trusted you, but it was too damn hard…just please, slack off on the poor bastards left?"

Another light hurt Kyouko's eyes, like a second sunrise. She could hear Sayaka's voice–she wanted to hurry up and die, but the pain and despair were growing _less_, and that silly, grinning face was above her, and they were hugging and laughing as if the world wasn't full of death and horror at all, but a place where hope won through.

"Kyouko, you made it! I mean, of course you did–Madoka–"

Both girls caught sight of Akemi Homura, staggering through the water. As Kyouko watched, the recently deceased Puella drove her head into a ruined wall with such force that blood flew from her forehead. Her eyes seemed to be trapped in a very tiny hell.

"Kaname Madoka Contracted…to restore the three of us to life. I will be leaving now. For however long it takes until Madoka becomes a Witch powerful enough to destroy the planet…" The mixture of wistfulness, envy and sympathy was so strong that Sayaka and Kyouko clung to each other for support "…do as you will."

Akemi Homura duly vanished, leaving a near immovable silence.

"She said Madoka…"

"We'll deal. When it comes around." Kyouko squeezed Sayaka's waist, face heated, "Listen, I feel like hunting Familiars could be worth it. And I'll try not stealing stuff. I just feel like you and me could do anything!"

"Thanks. But right now, I only want to sleep."

Kyouko could hear dazed voices across the flooded square, and see a frilly pink figure atop a ruin, with a girl in yellow embracing her. Both of them waded towards them, calling out and grinning. For now, everything bad was over.


	8. Chpt 7: Sacrifice

**Fragment 10: Timeline 18**

Kyouko didn't regret coming back to Mitakihara, but things were almost too quiet. Mami, her gracefully lovely erstwhile mentor, was dead, and no other Puella Magi, had stepped up to contest her territory–Kyouko had had the freedom of the city alone for a week. It was the way she worked and lived, but something ought to be happening. Kyouko didn't like the idea of nothing ever happening again.

Of course the dark haired girl was lurking around, but she wouldn't speak with Kyouko, or even accept a challenge to fight. She was a mystery woman, hiding her spirit in a glare of style as vivid as burning rum. Her life clearly bore the scars that were ritual for all Puella Magi–but she would share none of it with anyone, and walk in silence to her grave. Kyouko knew Homura must have her reasons, but she thought that life didn't look so good, when you watched somebody else live it.

An office lady had thrown herself under a train at Mitakihara North-West two days ago; Kyouko was hanging about, waiting for the Witch to come back. Watching the ranks of pushing, forward-looking salarymen in the rush hour was quite calming. They were so self-absorbed, and paid as little attention to the tramp slumped outside as her. The fewer people that demanded Kyouko's help, the happier she was.

A blue haired girl in school uniform caught her eye among the suits, forcing her way to the platform with zombie-like intensity. No other uniforms with her–deep hollowness in the corners of her eyes. Kyouko bought a cheap ticket, and followed the girl into the station, trying to check her neck for a red mark

Stuck between two fat men, Kyouko got a clear look at the blue-haired girl. She had given up on life for certain; her breaths were fast and shallow, her eyes turned up. No Witch-kiss–she was dying because she wanted to, just like Kyouko's father. Kyouko knew she should to run. She could only save herself, and this girl had demons she couldn't fight. The next arrival was coming over the tannoy.

–_She's a Potential you know_– Kyubey chirp in her mind, –_You'll have to save her before she jumps_–

"I can't. And I don't want to." Kyouko glared at the shaking blue head, furious at her waste of life. It was none of her problem, nothing she should waste magic failing to help–but her father's choking face was turning around inside her.

–_I predicted that you would say that, Sakura Kyouko_–

The blue girl stepped forward, ran, sprawled over the tracks; Kyouko could see the train. Shoving two men aside, she released a burst of magic, rushed in front of hurtling mass, and threw both their bodies to the other side. She realised how near she had coming to throwing her own life away for nothing before the pain in her foot registered, and she passed out beside Sayaka.

–0–

Kyouko woke up in hospital, one leg in a cast. A nurse told her about broken legs, as if she'd never had one, a policeman asked her questions she answered with no. She was prepared to burn more magic to totally heal before the morning, disappear without trace, and never do anything so insane again. She wasn't expecting the blue girl to walk into her room, in a hospital gown hours later, with an orderly behind her. She took a chair beside the bed, and looked hard at Kyouko's face.

"Are you here to apologise?" Kyouko finally snapped, indicating her leg.

"I didn't ask you to save me."

"I didn't think, alright? I didn't think about saving a total idiot who should be fucking ashamed of herself." The orderly began to protest, but both girls spoke over him.

"I guess you don't want to know why I did it? To be honest, _I just didn't think_."

"Don't even joke about us being the same."

"Look…you saved me, I'm not joking. I'm sorry about your leg. I'll do anything to pay you back–" Her eyes were rimmed with pain, but still bright and hard with earnest good-intention. Kyouko turned her face away.

"Go away, and do whatever the hell you want."

Sayaka shuffled out; the orderly throwing a dirty look at Kyouko as he went. She was alone again.

After this she couldn't ever say she was living rationally. She could never say, and believe, that there was nothing she could do. She'd lost at living for herself, and saving a silly, innocent girl looked like the only result her life would ever see.

After years of forgetting, tears fell from Kyouko's eyes, for her family who were lost.

–0–

Sayaka's father wore square glasses; both her parents had the same thin, pinched look. Their manner was quiet, polite and plainly shell-shocked; Kyouko had no idea how to react to them. She'd prepared a demand for them not be angry with Sayaka for the stupid thing she'd done, but found that she couldn't say it. They were different as could be from her parents–different from Sayaka. In the end she could only wish them luck. Sayaka was silent as they left the hospital; Kyouko tried not to imagine what might happens when the family was out of the public eye.

After finally healing her leg, and sneaking out herself, Kyouko found herself drawn to her family's church. The darkness had as many shades as the great windows; she was more alone there than anywhere else. She didn't know why she'd saved Sayaka. Why she hadn't saved her own family. How she would live now–if she would change. The unknowable had one answer.

Kyouko clasped her hands and prayed for guidance; challenging God to rise from the curses she had heaped on Him. She heard nothing, but her heart somehow felt peaceful, like a child with a father.

–0–

A few days later, Sayaka started wandering the town at night, like a Puella without a Wish. Kyouko left her alone for another four nights, before she faced her in an alley.

"Keep doing this, and someone'll get you. Or something."

"I guess you'd know." Kyouko was in her costume, "I knew you were a real Puella Magi."

"How are your parents letting you out?"

"They aren't, but I don't care," The darkness around Sayaka's eyes had grown, "I wanted to see you again…even if you're a Magical Girl, you're the only thing in this world that isn't wrong."

"I'll get you a hot drink. Take it and go home to your family."

"Have you got a family? I haven't–" Kyouko seized Sayaka's shirt and pulled her forward in anger, "–not a real one. I can't talk to them anymore..."

Kyouko dragged Sayaka into the street, switching to normal clothes. Her girl pressed against her side, shivering against the night. Kyouko knew she had to take her home. But she hadn't decided anything ten minutes late, when they passed by the pawnshop, and saw the shaking man in front of the counter with a gun. They had a second for Sayaka to turn expectant eyes on Kyouko, who could only shake her head.

"I fight Witches. I'm not…"

Then the robber was tumbling out the door, and Sayaka was running at him, bare legs flashing in the neon light. Kyouko saw that her face was just like the rail station, but she still wondered what could have made such a fearless girl try to kill herself, as she leapt ahead of Sayaka and punched the robber into the ground–the gun went off, hitting nothing.

"Didn't you fucking learn?" She growled, catching Sayaka's shoulders, "Shit, that was the first time I've even hit a human."

"Sorry. You were amazing…" More than cold was shaking Sayaka, as she found herself sobbing into Kyouko's hair.

"Shit. Look we should get out of here. I guess my place is closest."

–0–

"….she barely even visited Kyousuke after the accident! She doesn't know him. There's nothing special between them–she just needs a perfect boyfriend for her perfect life. God, how can I even be talking about this, when Mami _died_ and Madoka saw everything…? She still see it, and I can't help her. I couldn't fight…I was scared, and I was an idiot who thought justice and friendship existed…"

Kyouko stood and Sayaka perched on the edge of the hotel bed. She had eaten an apple and poured out everything. Kyouko wanted to touch her shoulder, but it would be useless. A beautiful, brave girl who believed in justice and love was breaking under the same rack that had broken her. It felt like trying to twitch limbs that had been locked in a coma for years, but she wanted to move Miki Sayaka. She wanted to have something with somebody.

"You were right not to choose to be a Puella Magi–we can die any time, and we have to do shitty things. You've a got a family, and that Madoka girl relying on you–there's no reason a girl like you should _ever_–"

"Like me? Do you think I'm not even suffering, just because I'm not you? What exactly do I have to do to convince you? Sayaka's voice rose furiously, "I had a chance to protect everyone, save Mami and heal Kyousuke–but I didn't take it. And my parents only care about keeping me in school long enough to sit some exams! They don't know what else to do for me…I can't stop hurting them. I wish I didn't even care about them, or Kyousuke or Madoka, I Wish…that's why I wanted to find you, Kyouko."

"Huh?" Kyouko started back, as Sayaka reached up and seized her hands.

"You saved me. I wasn't joking about repaying that. Tell what you want, I'll make that my Wish, whatever it is."

Her eyes filled Kyouko. They were still angry, almost challenging, built on the pride of broken virtue, and offering her everything. She was no longer sure that Sayaka had no reason to be a Puella Magi. But she absolutely could not let her be one.

"You utter, five-star, monumental _idiot_. You don't even know me, and I told you I don't want you–!"

"I know that you're a liar. You didn't want to stop that robber, and you talk like a thug, but you risked your neck to save me, for nothing. You're a hero of justice. You just always lie about it."

Kyouko suddenly found herself shoving Sayaka back, across the hotel bed. She was above her on the bed, staring down like a bear at a trembling salmon. The pocky she had been eating vanished into her mouth.

"You don't know me; you don't know what kind of world you're getting into. How'd you know I'm not a sick monster who messes up everybody she touches? If you're ready to do anything, why the hell are you shaking? Why don't you just go back to your home?"

"I don't have a home," Sayaka voice was clear, "I just want to be where you are."

"I'm sorry. I told you, Sayaka. Everyone I get close to gets messed up. You don't want anything to do with me. Or Kyubey, or Puella Magis."

Kyouko walked out into the night, leaving Sayaka to seek oblivion in the still-warm bed.

Days later, Kyouko passed Sayaka wandering through the crowds near the station. There was a red mark on her neck.

"Do I…have to do this forever, or something?"

–_Nothing lasts forever; you can even stop when you like–_ Kyubey meandered between the hurrying feet _–Sayaka wasn't forced to jump off that platform. No one compelled you to become a magical girl, or save her. The only one who makes your world is you–_

* * *

**Fragment 11: The Final Timeline**

It didn't matter how it had happened to Sayaka, or why Kyouko hadn't stopped it getting worse. Some things couldn't be changed, even if you prayed. She left Sayaka's body in the silent hotel room anyway–warmed, but still pale as ice–and went back to the church.

She looked up at the altar for a long time; until she could remember watching her father, before everything. Urging the people to fight against the devil's schemes; blessing the bread and wine. Finally, she could speak.

"Papa. I still can't forgive you. Not for Mother, and poor Momo…you should have been stronger, Papa. You should've tried to understand–you shouldn't have left us all alone.

"But I'm sorry I said you were selfish. You did everything for the church, and Mum and Sis and me…to save us from the devil. You just always believed you knew the right way. If God spoke to Abraham or anybody, I'll _never_ know why He didn't stop you from killing them. But I know I can't blame God for never helping Sayaka. I tried to protect her, but it wasn't enough, and it was my fault.

"You'd really like Sayaka, Papa. She's an idiot, but she might've been stronger than you. She only wanted to protect people and save the boy she loves–and now she's become a monster that kills as well. Like me, when this Gem goes dark–God, you were right. I sold my soul, I'm a monster...not your princess.

"Papa…I'm scared. Of myself, and Sayaka. Monsters with no hope. I'm alone; with the things I've done…I can't believe in prayer anymore. All I can believe in is the stories you told me; Gideon, David, and Gerda in the _Snow Queen_. They endured for their miracles and happy endings. I have to believe in them, even if it kills me. I'm going to give this story a different ending Papa. Please, watch me."

Kyouko rose from her knees, and walked out to find Madoka. Now she'd accepted what she was, it was too hard to believe in happy endings on her own. She knew they didn't exist but they were all the hope she had left to keep her human.

–0–

It seemed like she'd spent half her life on the shrieking red amphitheatre, under the battering wheels. She'd called with anger, longing, sorrow, and everything else Sayaka had moved in her, but there was nothing, except a ribbon on an iron neck. She was bleeding and bruised; in a few minutes everything would end with death.

They all crashed down into the darkness under the floor, like Judas and the devil in the lake of ice. The scaled monster towered over Kyouko as she fell, multicoloured tail flashing–she'd always _hated_ that story. Its helmet had no face, but its taunt emotional chaos was clear in writhing limbs and trembling sword. It had Sayaka-like strength, but none of her purity. The world had hurt her so much that all she could only sever herself from it, smothering her pain with music, and hurting others, alone. Kyouko's own face stared back from the Witch's three eyes.

Madoka drifted helplessly in the water above them. To save an innocent, she had to kill the Witch. If she killed the Witch, she killed Sayaka, and all the justice and hope left in her own world.

There was no hope, nothing she could do. Kyouko prayed the thoughtless prayer of the dying sinner, that God could somehow make things alright. Kyouko knew was an idiot, that God had done nothing for her family or the dozens of Witches she'd speared to a miserable death. But coming to the place where she had nothing else to believe in, it seemed as real as when she'd been six, and a drunk attacking her father had broken down in tears.

The Witch came to rest in the voiceless darkness of her heart. Homura was carrying Madoka away, as if they had always been a team of friends. Kyouko wondered at it, facing the Witch on her knees.

–0–

She was alone–but maybe heroes had to be alone before the end, to conquer their own demons. And she was with Sayaka, still fighting her, even if there was nothing left she could save. Not the girl who teased and laughed with her friends, and never stopped trying to smile. Not the shy, deep-hearted girl waiting for the boy she loved. Not the shadowed warrior who had given her pain her Soul and her humanity to fight evil, and simply lost her way until she destroyed herself. Kyouko embraced every memory of Sayaka, with her hands clasped before her lips.

_Please, God. Forgive her. None of us knew._

She had sworn never to give up on living, but Kyouko felt that the only way to live as a human with Sayaka was to die. She was a sinful, selfish idiot; even her death couldn't save anybody. But Jesus–she kissed the cross from her hair-ribbon, on impulse–had died for worse sinners than her. Whether he would save them both or not, Kyouko was thankful. She knew that even hell would not be hopeless if she and Sayaka did love each other, and always would.


	9. Chpt 8: The Frog and the Scorpion

_A/N: This chapter was inspired by an interview linked from Kyouko's article on the PMMM wiki, stating that in the post-Madoka world Kyouko recovers her idealism, and self-worth. I initially thought, along with the wiki writer, that this means Kyouko's family have their deaths averted. Although it could actually refer to her recovery after Sayaka's final death, I couldn't discard the idea. I began this story before the 3rd drama CD (that mentions Kyouko's illusion power) placed Kyouko's family in a neighbouring city, and kept her in Mitakihara for plot convenience (anyway, why is the Sakura church in Mitakihara if they don't live there?)_

* * *

**Fragment: Post-Madoka**

"Kyouko, this is Miki Sayaka. She'll be going on demon hunts for the time being, in our care."

"Nice to meet you, Kyouko-Sempai!" The tall, trim girl beside Mami had a grin as natural as a dolphin's. Like the two Puella Magi, she wore a Mitakihara uniform. Despite their guileless purity, her eyes unsettled Kyouko. Their hunger for justice might have been the passion to save innocents Kyouko herself had lost in years of silent battle.

"I'm not your sempai unless you Contract, and if you've got a choice, don't. This isn't a game, it's a death sentence. Ugh, sorry. Here."

Kyouko shoved the chocolate at Sayaka, and cursed herself when the girl said she wasn't hungry. It was just too obvious that she would Contract–and the admiring looks she favoured Mami with unsettled Kyouko as well.

After Sayaka did Contract, it was Mami who mentored her in battle at first. She agreed with Sayaka more than with Kyouko, and listened to her warble on about courage and truth, smiling serenely. Sayaka started calling her attack names. Kyouko realised that after years of hunting with Mami as her only friend, she was suddenly on the outside looking in.

–0–

"Thank you God, for your love and mercy. Thank you for food to make us strong; help us give bread of life to the empty. Amen."

"Amen!" Heartier than Kyouko, if possible, Momo popped a shrimp into her mouth. She grinned as her mother told her to eat slowly.

"How was school, Princess?" Her father looked pleasantly across the dinner table. Kyouko smiled back and told him it was good.

"…I did argue with a junior who was being clingy with Mami-San. But it was really silly…."

"How long has it been since Tomoe-San visited?" Her mother wondered aloud, "You should invite her again, Kyouko."

"Yeah!" Momo added, "Mami-San's so pretty, like a magic princess."

"I…think she's been busy."

In the three years she had been deceiving her family, Kyouko had learnt a lot more about God's heart and her own sinfulness. Her Wish had overridden sacred free wills, and her Papa would be hurt forever if he knew. She still didn't regret her choice, but in a thousand marred contentments, she was paying for it.

"Princess…I know I haven't had so much time for you and your sister recently, with such at the Church. But I'm always going to be here for you. You can tell me about anything."

Kyouko stared at her plate. She felt no answer inside her, or anything else.

"Aww, Papa, Onee-San's a grumpy teenager!" Momo snuggled up to her father's arm, "But Momo's still your little girl." Kyouko flicked a pea at her and got scolded.

Momo was much less shy these days and she'd always been light-hearted and honest. There was a boy she liked at school Papa didn't know about yet, and she wanted to be a nurse. When she doubted her Wish, Kyouko thought about Momo first.

–0–

Almost overnight, the eager shine left Sayaka's eyes. She threw herself into demon hunting, as if they were her own heart's darkness, but all her natural joy became a shell of empty smiles. She hadn't told Kyouko her Wish, but it was simple to discover around school that her late best friend had asked out a miraculously healed violinist.

Kyouko decided at first Sayaka would have to take the consequences of her Wish, just like she had. God had punished them both for selfish Wishes; to live on, they had to accept that.

Sayaka's Soul Gem was the problem; Kyouko offered her extra Grief Cubes, but she wouldn't take them. She couldn't confront Sayaka directly, since she had only poured out her trouble to Mami's ample bosom. Kyouko knew from experience that Mami was more comforting than her. It still hurt to see an ordinary, vulnerable girl progressively break herself down. It hurt not to be confided in, or mean anything to her at all.

After a fortnight, the three Puella were leaving yet another alleyway battlefield. Mami was healing a slight wound, while Kyouko looked back at a desolate Sayaka.

"It happens; you messed up. Just learn to stay alert–and stop charging ahead like you want to kill yourself."

"I know! Sakura-San, how can you talk as if I'm not even trying? We're comrades, aren't we?" Sayaka's fists were clenched.

"I'm Mami's comrade, and you just put her in danger. If you can't focus, I can't trust you with my back, and she shouldn't either."

"What, focus like _you_? You act like you hardly care about saving people. You may be a pastor's daughter, but it doesn't seem like you believe in anything!"

"Kyouko, she doesn't mean it," Mami interrupted, "Sayaka's been having a hard time–"

"This is why you should never have Contracted," Kyouko stepped forward, fangs bared, "You've never missed a meal, but you threw away that convenient life, for the first thing you couldn't get. And now you're cracking up, because your resolve as a Puella Magi was so weak."

"Shut up!"

As Sayaka whipped her sword round, Kyouko's spear shot out, drawing a ruby of blood from her throat. For a second, the pain in their eyes clashed, before yellow ribbons hauled them apart.

"That's going too far, both of you! We're comrades. I can't believe you're fighting like this!"

"Yeah. _I_ can't believe how natural it felt. We should never have let this girl follow us to die, Mami."

"Sayaka made her own choice. I'm not going to tolerate it if you threaten her again."

"Sure, what would be the point? We're all going to vanish soon anyway."

"I know!" Sayaka burst out, "I knew I was giving up my soul, and I'd never have a normal life with Kyousuke. I accepted that!"

"Don't lie to yourself. It's poison." Kyouko stared at Sayaka's flowing tears.

"I'm not going to disappear! I'm going to be stronger than you, and save everyone…it's all I've got."

–0–

Early the next evening, Mami detected demons in a building site near the river. At her first shot, they scattered, aiming to split the team up and then mob a single Puella. Mami ran off along a low wall, firing as she went, so Kyouko had to stay close to Sayaka.

As she thrusted at the circling white monsters, she saw two demons hanging back, quite still–then a tiny, ragged body flopped into the doorway behind them. If she was a runaway, a Drain could kill her simply from cold and emptiness.

Without thought, Kyouko was dashing under descending claws and across the asphalt, snatching the child from between the demons. Before she could turn, six of them had shifted into the doorway behind her. She couldn't evade; holding the child, she couldn't even block. But she could take the punishment–

Sayaka cried out. The demon claws had gouged her as she'd rushed straight after Kyouko, protecting her back. She was driving her sword through white robes, and her wounds were closing quickly.

Placing the victim down, Kyouko summoned six doubles that weaved through the enemy. When they dodged away from a double or slashed out, Kyouko stabbed through their exposed heads. Sayaka had leapt onto a demon's back to stab at it; the giant monster careered out of the building towards the riverside, swatting madly at her. Kyouko had just buried her spear in a final shadowed hood, when the demon with Sayaka on it collapsed. It dumping her onto a wharf that she crashed straight through, into the river.

Kyouko instantly dived into the black, freezing water–it felt stupid, but she wasn't likely to drown. Panic reflex blazing, she grasped desperately for Sayaka's arms, and pulled their cores together. She felt Sayaka press her face into billowing red hair.

In the sparse mass of their bodies, there was warmth, and the cold biting at their skin only made it more intense. They were floating in darkness, without weight, or limits. They had no path but their own moving legs, kicking slowly up to the air.

–0–

"I'm sorry–"

"I always–"

Both girls hesitated. They were finally walking home together from Mami's flat, passing through a tiny park with one tree. Sayaka went first.

"I'm sorry I got the wrong idea about you. You must've seen horrible things in three years, but you really do want to save people."

"Stop it. After deceiving my church and even my family, I wouldn't be worth much if I didn't." Kyouko smiled grimly at Sayaka, and told about her Wish, "I'm no hero and this isn't any fairytale. I've been selfish; I've lied, and failed to save people. There's suffering for doing right, no happy end for the good–no end to this war at all. I had to choose this path, to save my family. But I said you shouldn't Contact, because I didn't want you to suffer."

"But it was the only way to save Kyousuke. I thought, if it meant being a zombie, and never saying what I felt, that was the price. I shouldn't care if he's going out with Hitomi. I'm okay..."

Sayaka's streaming eyes stared bitterly into Kyouko's, fighting to be okay. Kyouko's eyes were burning too, as she shook her head.

"Sayaka...you're not okay. You're feeling angry, betrayed–and you hate yourself for it. You shouldn't be a selfless hero or a zombie, you shouldn't suffer because you love, or throw your life away! You should never have become a Puella Magi–"

"Why not? Maybe I never suffered like you, but I wanted to heal Kyousuke. Why can't I Contract, if you did?"

"Because it's too cruel. You always try too hard, put yourself in danger, and give your life up rather than stop believing in fairytales! But I won't just watch you anymore. I'll protect you with everything I've got, even if it kills me. If you can keep smiling, and believe in justice..."

Kyouko's voice died away, as Sayaka dropped to one knee on the pavement. She grinned up at Kyouko; sadly, but with pride.

"I'm such an idiot. All I could see was Kyousuke, and my own stupid feelings, but you were always fighting for your family–you've always protecting me. Please, Kyouko, don't say that I shouldn't be a Puella Magi. I wanted to save people; that's who I am. All I can do is fight together with you, until it's me who's strong enough to protect."

"You are an idiot." Kyouko mashed her palm against her brow, hiding her eyes, "Why are you such an idiot?"

"I guess it's in my nature. Well?"

"Yes, of course." Going red, Kyouko tapped Sayaka's shoulder, "I dub thee Miki Sayaka, though you know who you are already. Get up, and let's go."

Kyouko pulled Sayaka up. Somehow, as they walked away, their hands never parted.

–0–

Observant as ever, Mami just happened to have a celebratory chocolate cake the next time they all met at her flat. Kyouko was more surprised to see Akemi Homura kneeling by the table; as blank as if she'd dropped off the edge of another world. Kyubey had already hopped from her shoulder to tuck in to its cat food.

"Finally decided you could use some friends?" Kyouko quipped at Homura, who averted her head. Always hunting alone, she gave the impression of shell-shock, as if more of her substance was in the past than the present. Kyouko knew little else except that she was crazy tough.

"I invited Akemi-San round for some cake," Mami volunteered happily, "Since this is a week for making friends."

"Yeah. To friends and cake." Kyouko plonked her teacup down, and took a large slice.

"Eh, you're pretty greedy for a pastor's daughter." Sayaka really grinned.

"What? God made food for eating!"

"At least be a little tidier." Sayaka flicked a piece of icing off Kyouko's nose. All of them laughed until they realised Homura was weeping.

"I always hoped…I never imagined….she would've loved…" Surprisingly, it was Sayaka who hugged her.

It didn't seem the best week of Kyouko's life at the time, but it probably was. They ate together at Mami's flat and everywhere else they knew, having stupid arguments and learning little things about each other. Kyouko rubbished Hitomi as often as possible and if Sayaka didn't agree, she didn't protest. Kyouko even invited Sayaka to her house; her Papa said she was a nice, honest girl. He explained the plan of salvation to her, over coffee (Kyouko wondered uneasily if he'd sensed a hurting spirit in need of belief). Sayaka listened, but made no commitment.

"Why don't you ever talk to me about that stuff?" She asked Kyouko later at Mami's flat.

"About God? Well, Papa's much better at it. Honestly, I've never done so well at following God. After lying every day and selling my soul, I'm not the person to ask about salvation." Sayaka put her hands on Kyouko's shoulders.

"You saved your family, Kyouko. They're the nicest people I've met, so don't ever die on them."

Looking Sayaka in her pure blue eyes, Kyoko could believe she never would. She could finally remember the innocent joy of believing in herself.

"Same to you. When do I get to meet your parents, anyway?"

"You wouldn't want to," Sayaka broke away, "They're two ordinary divorcees; It barely feels like I know them, and they don't know me. I wouldn't want you to meet them, any more than Kyousuke or Hitomi."

"Sayaka, they're your parents…!" As another argument started up, Kyouko wondered uneasily when her own parents had last known her.

The demon pack that appeared on the streets that night was almost bigger than the Puella could handle. Before Kyouko had realised, Sayaka broke off from the others. Eight demons quickly appeared around the lone target. She launched herself away, but a claw stuck in her leg.

Rather than wipe out the other scattered demons with Mami, as Sayaka had hoped, Kyouko pounded towards her. She saw the blue swordmaiden whip her blade around madly. Teeth and claws drew spurts that dyed her cloak red. Two demons were cut down, Kyouko was skewering a third, but Sayaka was bleeding out on her knees. Mami had to fire past them into the melee, and if Homura hadn't flown in at the end, they would have been lost. Afterwareds, Kyouko knelt beside Sayaka, watching her wounds knit together, and her Soul Gem darken. Sayaka asked as she woke if they'd saved the woman the demons had been Draining. But she'd thrown herself under a car before anyone could get to her.

–0–

"Take this," Sayaka accepted the apple readily, "And these." Kyouko held out a handful of Grief Cubes.

"I told you I'd never take something I didn't deserve. I'm still me, so that's still true."

"Sayaka, I'm not losing you! You went off alone again, like your life doesn't matter, and you almost got killed. Think about your parents! And weren't you going to live long enough to beat me?"

"I don't know. We'd finally made friends, and I was okay…but, I thought we might all die in that fight, and everything seemed so useless and empty. I didn't feel any pain."

Sayaka's eyes were ice-cubes. Kyouko tried to imagine losing her friend, her love and her dreams; everything she'd ever had in fourteen years. Against that lonely void of battle, Kyouko felt a painfully fragile link between Sayaka and hope.

"Sayaka, If you died and I still didn't know you, it'd be too much. What do I need to do to bring you back?"

"Kyouko…" Sayaka turned away, "I'm just a weak Puella Magi, who can't do anything but protect you and Mami; that's all I've got to do. You shouldn't have been so caring, Kyouko."

"Sayaka, what the heck is this?" The curse-word flew unheeded over Kyouko's furious lips, "We've risked our necks for each other, we promised to fight beside each other at last; we're friends–!"

Suddenly as a bursting wave, Sayaka rushed at Kyouko and hugged her so hard she almost fell. Then she feel back, stammered an apology and ran. In the seconds before Kyouko went after her, she was lost among the street-lights and alleys where Kyouko wandered until dawn.

Mami stared after Kyouko, as Homura gazed soulfully into the air. The blonde veteran wondered if she would ever find the friend who could accept all the fear and emptiness in her own heart. The one girl she could trust to take that burden away.

–0–

"Papa?" Kyouko fidgeted in the door of her safe, cosy front room, as her father looked up from his book.

"Princess. Well, what's his name?" Kyouko very nearly bolted, "Sorry! Your mother always says I shouldn't be a bit less blunt. You looked so nervous I assumed it was finally that."

"It's not a boy, Papa…" Kyouko sank onto a beanbag near his feet, "It's a girl."

"A friend? What about her?"

"Yes, a friend…she's had a really hard time, and I'm worried. I want to protect–I mean, help her. I just don't know if I can."

"Kyouko…sorry, but I do love you. You're so kind, honest, and responsible; these are gifts of the Spirit, made by God to save his children." Kyouko hugged her father's legs, hiding her eyes. Her only gifts she'd used to save others had been illusion and battle "Keep supporting your friend, and help her believe in herself. Pray for her strength, and help her uproot anything evil from her life. Then act together, in faith that you're doing what's right."

"But that's–I mean, she does the right thing, and she always gets hurt! She never blames other people; she just takes all the pain on herself. Even if she'd have to change, I don't want her to hurt anymore."

Her father's face became graver, before he spoke again.

"Three years ago, after the final warning from the main church, I told your mother I would resign as a pastor. I couldn't keep preaching a useless gospel–there's so much evil in the world, I had to protect you all. But if it meant you would be cast out and go hungry, I thought that price was more than I could bear.

"Your mother scolded me for thinking that way. She said that I should be strong enough to do what I thought right, and while I was still me, she would love me whatever happened. But when things got really bad after that…I still almost thought of going away. I felt useless as a father...I'm sorry Kyouko. But I loved you all, so I could stay to protect you, and keep trying, until the Lord finally released his blessings. If you want to help your friend, don't give any thought to what people say, or things of the flesh, Kyouko. God showed us three years ago that He saves everyone who suffers to do right."

Kyoko clung to her father. Though she had bought his salvation with a lie and seen too many demon victims die unsaved, the happiness in his face was true. Fleshy kisses might be insignificant beside her feelings for Sayaka, or her father, but they could lose her both forever.

"Papa...sometimes I feel like I'm a bad person. You're so good, that if I did something terrible, I'm afraid you'd hate me."

Her father's hand rested on her head. Faintly, Kyouko could feel him trembling.

"Kyouko, I'd rather die–you're my princess. If I lost you, I couldn't imagine…but you never gone astray or even blamed me when we were starving. I know you're a good girl–I trust you. But whatever happens, I'll still love you, Kyouko. I just want to protect you, until the very end."

"Thank you Papa. You're a good father. I could never blame or hate you. Whatever happens."

Kyouko found Momo eavesdropping outside the door. She hugged her sister quietly, and told her to be a good girl and take good care of their father.

She'd decided that she could never tell her father the truth; but for the first time in years, her guilt was gone. She had to protect him. If God was as loving as her father, and stronger, she could believe He forgave, because her father believed in her. So, in the end, it was him who saved her. Kyouko couldn't give that up.

–0–

The four Puella Magi were meeting at the railway station that night. Kyouko finally found Sayaka, looking down from a railway bridge on the way. The whole sky was blue with the dusk.

"It's pretty mean to avoid your friends, you know."

"Yeah. Sorry."

They stared at each other, as if preparing to fight. Kyouko finally broke the silence.

"I–I just want to say, I'm going to stay with you, Sayaka. Whatever crazy thing you do, you won't be alone."

"Kyouko…I was worried you hated me. I've been useless, and given you trouble–"

"Don't say that, idiot, you're not useless! I mean, you're the one I want to protect! You a real hero of justice Sayaka–you're a saviour."

Sayaka leaned into Kyouko's chest; she didn't cry, but the redhead could feel her shoulders shake like crystal in a storm. She held Sayaka, and waited. Whatever Sayaka wanted from her, she felt prepared.

"Thanks." Sayaka looked up, trying to smile for her, "I've been letting things build up with Kyousuke, the battles, and you…I'm really glad we're together. Let's go and kill some demons."

Sayaka's hand was trembling, until Kyouko took hold of it. They walked back to Mami and Homura together.

–0–

Demon numbers had been increasing for months, but the pack haunting the station was just within the Puella's strength. After more white figures poured from the underpass, things looked chancier; when Kyouko was knocked across the rails, and Sayaka's arm was ripped away, the battle grew desperate.

Mami was mobbed by demons and forced to club them back with her rifle butt. Homura was pouring arrows into the flickering white monsters around Sayaka, face grim. Kyouko staggered up, fighting for breath, as Sayaka regenerated her arm, shot over to Mami, and hacked two demons down with a sword in each hand. The crowd that had been attacking Sayaka scattered, as Mami jumped away and began blasting them down with her guns. Kyouko leapt back in, summoning twelve illusionary doubles again and stabbing through a demon preparing to bite Sayaka's head.

"Your Soul Gem! Sayaka, you need to drop out–" Kyouko screamed as claw raked her back. Leaping up, Sayaka chopped through the demon's neck with vengeful joy. Mami and Homura's barrage had almost finished the demons off.

"It's okay, I'm not sad anymore! I want to help you, I'm happy..."

A slash at another demon, a jump back–a claw stuck through her stomach, a blade in a demon face. Falling back, cloak billowing like a flag, as a final spurt of magic wiped her wounds away, and her Soul Gem went dark.

Kyouko saw streaming tears, as Sayaka looked up at something; then a smile of true happiness. A picture of suffering love, the only kind. In the light of heaven, Sayaka's face was unchanged as she vanished.

Kyouko said afterwards that they had been friends. At that moment, it was all she could think of

–0–

Homura and Mami both worried Kyouko would despair; but in a sense the next three years were the fullest of her life. The memory of Sayaka's final smile was always enough for her to believe in happy endings. She could believe in herself because Sayaka had loved her, and take pride in defending the city as a Puella Magi.

After a year, Kyouko saved a little girl from being used as an ashtray by her mother. Yuma talked with her once, and Wished for the strength to help people like she did. Kyouko ended up mentoring her another year, protecting her and simply being a friend. She kept her promise not to leave Sayaka alone–Yuma followed her to the station every week, where she left some food where Sayaka had vanished, and told her how things were. Yuma would look on with wide eyes, and clasp her hands as Kyouko prayed.

After another year Yuma moved to her own territory and Kyouko finally became a church youth leader. She'd never stopped believing in God, and could finally believe again that He had a use for her life. Whether her powers were a gift from the spirit of a snare of the devil she would keep trying to do right, just like Sayaka and her father. Whatever Homura believed about her unseen Madoka, she knew God had saved Sayaka, and finally save her soul as well.

A year after that, Kyouko was chasing a sole escaping demon through an alley, after a hard battle. It sped across a plaza, in the shadow of her father's church. Kyouko checked the building was dark, before racing out after the demon–but when she looked back, her mother was standing in the church's doors, holding notes her Papa must have left in his office. He would never have let her get them alone.

Kyouko stared into her mother's disbelieving eyes. She glanced up at the church, and the cross above it. Her father, his message, and his soul were all she had left to protect.

"Mama. Please, forgive me?"

Drawing all the power from her Soul Gem, she stabbed a huge spear through the demon in an obscuring blast of light. Before her father rushed out of the church to see it, Kyouko had vanished to her reward.

Sayaka had taught her that justice and hope were real, in this world, if you were ready to give your life for them.


	10. Chpt 9: Epilogue in Heaven

**Between earth and heaven**

In a dozen worlds, the girl gets on a train. Frustrated in her naivety, furious with her own romantic hopes; she is often in despair and has always suffered. There are always two men sitting in front of her, with words that tread leisurely over her broken dreams.

Sometimes she doesn't speak to them, sometimes she does. Sometimes a bright sword stabs through both men to their seats, painting the dark train with vivid, darker red. Sometimes the train reaches its stop, and she flees from the men to the platform, with defeat in her heart.

Sayaka always becomes a Witch. The deepest feelings of her heart are always the same. But Madoka only has to save her once.

–0–

"Sayaka…"

They're on the seashore; the sky is full of red clouds. On the sea, every scene of their lives plays back, from every timeline they passed through and forgot. Every fight, and embrace; every victory and failure repeated. Kyouko tightens her arms round Sayaka's waist, presses her cheek into her shoulder. The _umaibo_ she offered Sayaka is still in her hand, as the train scene plays out once more and vanishes forever.

"Sayaka, don't think on it. You didn't kill them–"

"Not always. But I always wanted to.I always talked big and couldn't deliver. I didn't try to understand, and when I did, I was too weak. With everything you did, I should have lived longer with you..."

"You dummy, you always tried! And I did just about everything wrong, I didn't even save my own family, except the last time round…and I always lied to myself about you, until it was too late. Why'd you need me to forgive you?"

"Because Madoka took our darkness away–but you were the one I hurt, and I want to live in her heaven with you. I can finally see how much we're the same, Kyouko, so I can forgive you everything, so easily. Does that sound strange?"

"Nah. Forgive and be forgiven. _That's_ heaven, more than clouds or angels; Papa always said so." Kyouko smiled, "Something else we agree on. Why wasn't it always this easy?"

Kyouko looked once more at her life on the sea, with its sins and struggles. Then her final vision of Madoka, transfigured into glory, taking the price of selfishness on herself. There was no regret, only the memory of what darkness she'd been saved from.

"Right, that's enough serious stuff!" Sayaka hopped up, and gave Kyouko a hand, yellow summer dress swirling around her legs, "There so much for you to see. I know you'll love it!"

"I think…I could really eat some Chinese desserts." The girls laughed as they walked away from the sea and the world changed.

–0–

Right after Kyouko's death, everything had been white and formless, except for Sayaka and the _umaibo_ Kyouko had wanted to give her for three years, in her own hand. After Sayaka had pulled her down into a loving tangle, the seashore had appeared. Now they had reached a city where no house was the same as another, and a wide, cooling river ran through the centre, thick with trees. Thatched cottages were melded together with marble halls and wooden long houses almost organically, like accumulation from a river of time. Glass apartment blocks stood beside the topless towers of Ilium, and spires that might have been from the distant future, or have never existed on earth.

Kyouko started as a flock of Gotz, Roberta's bird familiars, flapping past them. There were no longer the psychic effluence of a Witch's despair, but seemed as carefree as multicoloured pigeons. The streets were wide as Kyouko was used to from Mitakihara, and she knew there would be green parks, full of shade, sunshine and couples. She could sense the thoughts of invisible thousands around her, curious and open, a blanket against loneliness, a standing charge of excitement.

"Hmm. I'd thought the streets would be paved with gold…" Kyouko looked down, then hopped slightly and burst out laughing as the paving stones under her feet shone yellow. She ran with Sayaka to the river, reached to pluck an apple from a tree, and shared it with her, eye shining. It was just an apple, but the taste of its juice on their lips was life and healing.

"…you see? You can make whatever you want–and not like a Wish, or a Witch's barrier. When all the fear, pride and flesh go away, our own souls know what they really need. Isn't that wonderful?"

"Not as incredible as philosophy from _you_."

"Hey, I've been waiting three years for you here! I'm your sempai, for once." Sayaka flounced comically, then grinned as she pulled Kyouko after her. "This place is whatever we imagine; so everyone else has to notice _you_ before you can see _them_. And it only looks this way because we're city girls–for Pocahontas or Sacagawa, all these houses would have ten miles of forest and mountain between them."

"Who…?"

Kyouko suddenly noticed a figure seated on the bank by a thicket of reeds; a beautiful Egyptian woman with a distinctive nose. Her linen robe had been beautiful, but was now almost rags.

"Miss Sayaka. And welcome, child." The woman turned, and bowed her head, before continuing to stare into empty space. She certainly didn't look like someone in heaven.

"What? No way!" Kyouko responded to the introductions, "Why's _Cleopatra_ here? And why are you sitting around like a beggar?"

"Cleopatra…what is that name without Caesar, Anthony or her loyal Charmion? Without the Kingdom of Egypt? I was a queen and a goddess. Now I am becoming nothing. Maybe one day I will be Cleopatra again. Or perhaps something better."

"One day? But this is heaven…isn't this it?"

"This isn't really heaven–I mean, this is a world without suffering." Sayaka spoke up, "But we can be sure that heaven will be even better!"

Kyouko knew she was right. She could feel throughout the city streets that it would never become an everyday birthday–the excitement in the air was expectation of something more. Mysterious, loving, endless.

They stopped in a quiet French café along the river, run by Charlotte Corday, with a short, dark girl and a young Thracian in a purple dress. Someone was practising the flute in the distance, and someone else was singing–it wasn't always divine, but there was music everywhere in the city. On the other side of the river, an African girl and a young Japanese nun were playing basketball together. They stopped for a moment to bow to Sayaka as well.

"Even Cleo was treating you like a celebrity. It's because of Madoka, isn't it?" Kyouko commented, between mouthfuls of Roman _lucanica_ sausages and crepes so overloaded she had to use both hands.

"Yes." Sayaka gazed into her glass of wine, "There are queens, saints and heroines here…but I had the goddess who saved everyone for my best friend. Anything I can tell about her gives everyone so much joy. And she was only a sweet, kind, adorable _miraculous_ girl."

"Isn't she here?"

"She's going to be coming back, when Homura finally lays her arms down. That's partly what you can feel everyone waiting for. It's just so wonderful to see someone you love again!"

"Though you'd better hope Homura-chan hasn't made her forget about you..." Sayaka kicked Kyouko under the table; she was so shocked that it actually hurt, they both laughed.

–0–

Kyouko's old instincts tensed at the clash of swords. There was a park ahead of them, with perfectly trimmed lawns among copses of trees. A Caucasian girl with short hair was fencing against a spear-armed Asian in leather, whose hair streamed dark as a river through buried caves. They fought at more-than-human speed with sharp iron blades and firm mouths, without shedding a drop of blood. Kyouko noted that while the Spear-wielder was visibly stronger and smarter, the swordswoman fought back with unshakable spirit.

"Ah, dear Sayaka." The Asian woman leapt back from the fight, smiling like a panther; before Kyouko could react, she had an arm around Sayaka. "Is this girl the lover who's kept you waiting all these years?"

"Sayaka, who exactly is this tramp?" Kyouko didn't feel good about starting a fight in heaven, but the Asian radiated an alpha-female magnetism that woke an unfamiliar jealousy in her heart.

"Um, Penthesilea, queen of the Amazons–Kyouko Sakura." Sayaka looked quite red. Penthesilea fixed Kyouko with a stare rather lacking in heavenly serenity.

"Ahem." All four Puella turned to a pale girl in a white dress, seated under a nearby tree. She had just shut the nuclear physics textbook she's been reading, loudly, "Have you still not found enough trouble for one day, Pen? I was wondering if I should spend this evening with a book, instead of my…."

The Amazon queen calmly informed Kyouko that they would satisfy honour with weapons at an opportune time, before striding towards Cassandra and sweeping her off her feet onto a waiting horse. In a Shoujo manga, their embrace would have summoned a full moon, brilliant starlight and a plain of roses–in heaven, to Kyouko's alarm, it really did.

After they'd ridden away, Sayaka presently convinced Kyouko that Penthesilea acted that way with almost everyone. Joan of Arc (for the swordswoman was she) also assured Kyouko that her upcoming duel would end with no worse than a sound drubbing.

"Though you say you've been here less than a day? Did you find yourself in a great many fights during your life?" All three of them ended up laughing, "Of course there's no enemy here; I'd merely prefer to master this sword, before I lay it down for good. As for Penthesilea, she rides and fights more naturally than she breathes. God's mercy still amazes me, but for now, she has all she wants."

"Yeah…you must've been surprised." Kyouko peered through the trees at other battling groups and couples, including several younger Amazons and an energetic Viking girl. Speaking with a _bona-fide_ saint, she felt a certain awe and self-consciousness. "Is it really alright, all this eating, fighting and uh, free love...?"

"I certainly cannot think of such relations between women as right. But Penthesilea and Cassandra are beloved sisters, and I'm grateful they accept me as a friend as well."

"Really? Anyway, point is it's hardly _spiritual_, just the same stuff as when we were alive."

"Remember, we were Puella Magi, living in endless war and despair," Kyouko couldn't look away from Joan's eyes, "Here we can live in the happiness God has given us; for the world is His. In all goodness He is there; for our mistakes and foolishness, we have time to seek His mercy. On earth, I saw Him in a clouded mirror. Here, I see more clearly still, heading on to the full day of His very Presence."

Kyouko knew what Joan was talking about, but felt a very poor Christian indeed beside her rapt, heavenbent gaze.

"Oh, Sayaka! Kyouko!"

The call from nowhere seemed to summon them; the three Puella were whisked to a field outside the city, with a farmhouse in the distance. Joan grinned at Sayaka, and raced away just as she'd run through fields in Lorraine, with her childhood friends. Kyouko felt a fresh surge of joy as Sayaka grabbed her hand. They were all children in this new world, closer to heaven, and God was with them.

–0–

The farmhouse had a haystack round one side, with several brick ovens in front. A pink-haired girl with a milk churn was curtseying to Sayaka. Mami was smiling at them from beside a four-legged familiar, with a handkerchief over her hair.

"Hello, Sayaka. Kyouko, it's so good to see you again…stop by for tea?"

"Mami, is that a _cow_?" The familiar mooed convincingly.

"Oh, the milk is very good..."

"B-but can't you just imagine up tea and cakes, or whatever?"

"Yes, easily. But Momoko-chan, myself and everyone wanted to make cakes and cheese with our own milk, eggs, butter and strawberries. We might make a perfect cake after fifty years. Maybe after a hundred years, we'll do something else, whatever we want." Mami stood up in a ray of sunlight, wiping her hands on her apron. They had been as smooth as honey in life; here they were callused with work and dirty. When Mami turned to her with open arms, Kyouko leapt forward and hugged both Sayaka and her Puella sempai so hard they fell down on the grass.

"Hey! What're you doing with our Mami-San?" The pink-haired Momoko ran up to them angrily, and ended by getting hugged as well. Mami spread a rug on the grass and rolled out a picnic that she'd _almost_ all made normally, with her friends and family. Kyouko counted four older girls, including Momoko, competing for a chance to pour her tea, and at least twenty little Puella running about to help her lay out the jam scones and biscuits. The pastoral heaven had been in vogue for much of history, but Kyouko had known Mami's heaven would be family. With all the girls she was a mother to smiling up at her, Kyouko had never seen anyone so much in heaven.

With all the barbecued meat, chocolate cake and laughing messy-faced little girls reaching over everybody for food, Kyouko soon felt perfectly happy again. Momoko challenged her to finish a huge cheese faster than she could, and admitted Kyouko had almost won. Joan ended up singing a French country song not heard since the 16th century. Mami told all her children about her friends and their brave deeds, radiating happiness from her place at the head of the rug, and smiling gracefully around at her children. It was still rather more worldly than Kyouko's idea of heaven, but she had to admit being loved was a powerful thing.

–0–

After Joan had gone back to her modest cottage in the city, Sayaka showed Kyouko the gardens–or as much as she could, since they may have taken more of the city's nebulous area than all the buildings. There were ranks of dazzling flowerbeds, striking plains of cedar and sandalwood trees, ponds groaning with white lilies. Sayaka happily sniffed at the air; Kyouko sniffed as well, before rushing around the corner to a timely dumpling stand. She glanced back at Sayaka's knowing grin, and laughed without a care.

As the girls found a bench were they could rest, a one-woman plane was circling in the sky above them. A slim girl in green was clipping some flowerbeds, with a few younger helpers and a gang of the moustachioed cottonballs that hopped around everywhere in the gardens, spreading pollen to wherever it was needed.

Down an avenue of Sakura trees–there was a small girl in a wheelchair, totally still. A girl with blonde plaits was pushing her along, chattering happily in German. The carer looked as happy as everyone else in heaven, even if the comatose girl was a human shell.

"That's Walpurgisnacht; I mean, the first girl that went into it." Sayaka told her, "There are other girls like her, who were so twisted by their lives that they can't do or enjoy anything. Caring fot those ones really is Bertha's idea of heaven."

"Yeah. Straight." Kyouko took a gulp of cola, and turned to Sayaka, "But what have you been doing? Nothing you can't tell me about, I hope?"

"Hmph! I'm in Joan's choir and church; I don't understand everything she says, but I definitely think there's something there. I help Mami with her farm sometimes, there's some girls I play lacrosse with, and lots I just meet up with to talk about music. Some of them even knew the nineteenth century greats, and there so much music I never knew about…I even…" She proudly produced a violin from thin air.

"Well, don't pretend to be shy!" Kyouko pushed Sayaka into the middle of a lawn, and sat back down. Sayaka closed her eyes, raised her bow, and played something simple, dignified and solemn Kyouko suspected she had written herself. It wouldn't have earned the cost of a meal in a Tokyo subway, but to Kyoko it was Sayaka's heart. There was so much in her depths the redhead had never had the humility or years to understand. But from now on, she could learn her forever. When Sayaka opened her eyes, Kyoko stared into them, and clapped.

"Stop it. I'll never be anything like…him. Not unless I meditate myself down to zero like Cleopatra, or go somewhere nothing like the world, and come back a completely different person."

"Sayaka, you shouldn't ever change. You're too…you're _special_…arrgh, you dummy…"

"Didn't I already change, when I made that Contract? And I feel like I've completely changed at least three times since then…but I'm still not going to be a great maestro, and I never wanted to be a warrior, at least not like Joan. Maybe all I really wanted to be was a housewife."

"Do you…have a room–or a house, somewhere? With a picture of that violin-boy on the nightstand…?"

"Kyousuke...I don't feel such need for him anymore; I can't. But I...don't want to talk about him, not now. I suppose at least your tactlessness is never going to change, Kyouko." Sayaka turned away, though Kyouko could tell she was more troubled with herself than anything. In a pristine world, there was nothing else to be unhappy about in the end.

Though she couldn't physically tire, as a spirit, Kyouko had seen so much she felt the need for a rest, and night was duly drawing in above them. Sayaka sat beside her, on the bench.

"It's strange. I believed I could only love Kyousuke with my whole heart, so strongly. I was so naïve, and headstrong, I believed that love and justice was all I needed. Then you appeared and so much happened. You always gave your all to protect me, but I don't think I could ever accept it, I was too confused; too weak. Then Madoka brought me here, and healed me. She's still my best friend, and I do love her."

"Really?"

"Mmm. And I think I still love Kyousuke. And I love Mami, Elly and all the others girls...and I love you. That's all there is to say. Ever since we met, you've been a wonderful friend, or my best enemy...my most special friend...ugh, why do I mess this up every time..."

Kyouko rested her head on Sayaka's shoulder, laughing with more joy than she'd even know that day.

"Oh, Sayaka, you're impossible…I've never known anyone like you. You give everything your all–you love your friends, and Kyousuke and even me...you were made more for heaven than earth, just as you are. Only if that grabby Amazon, or anyone, ever try to take all of you, I'll protect you. Just like always."

"Kyouko…you asked if I had a home here. The truth is, I don't; not a flat, or even a room. I've waited three years for you to come, and to ask you to make a home with me. I don't have any home here, unless it's with you."

Kyouko felt the heat of tears in her eyes. Her family's faces blazed in her mind–the home of innocence and warmth she had known briefly, before the long years of utter loneliness. For the first time, she could rest in Sayaka's eyes, believing that they would always be together and she was home.

–0–

"Sakura Kyouko? Pardon me, but we have a message you'll want to hear."

Everything had become white again. Kyouko was still naked, but Sayaka was gone–she panicked for a second, but soon realised the city and her friend were merely out of sight. She could go back, as soon as she had heard this.

Two Japanese Puella were stood beside her; the short lady in red robes, introduced herself as Himiko and the twintailed girl as Elly. Kyouko remembered that Sayaka had mentioned being close to her–and the girl was certainly giving her a very sullen look. Himiko seemed ready to do all the talking.

"I was a famous Shaman and Prophetess; Elly was a devotee of some later thing called the internet. In heaven, we've learnt to perceive with a vision approaching Madoka-Sama's omnipresence; you could call us specialists."

"Um, wow. What's that like?"

"It's the multiverse you've always lived in." Himiko did looked very serene, but Kyouko couldn't help but feel that there she was still looking for something, rather than eternally satisfied.

"Right? And someone in the multiverse has a message for me? It's not Homura, is it? Or another bunch of weird aliens?"

"They would be from another planet, Sakura Kyouko. The multiverse stretches much, much further than that."

Himiko and Elly vanished. Kyouko's mother and her sister Momo stood in front of her. Behind them–

Kyouko dropped to her knees and hid her face. Everything that was good, from the taste of chocolate to the shine on Sayaka's smile, was born in the light behind them, the One who was there, who _saw her_. Who loved her. Kyouko was naked and in doubt, but her fear was completely swallowed up in praise. Everything afterwards would be more wonderful for the glimpse she had been given.

"God…God, what can I do..."

"Just do the same in your heaven as he told you in the world, Nee-San. Tell people about how good He is." Momo took Kyouko's hand, smiling with an eternal child's excitement "Heaven is where He is, and He's in the world as well; that's why it's good! We can't be with you for long now–even Madoka-Sama can't come here and see her family yet–but a real miracle will happen soon, and then we'll see you again."

"God…now I know what I'll be doing with my afterlife. Momo–you're in heaven, but you're a kid. But after Madoka changed the world, Papa didn't…kill you and mother…"

"We remember all the lives we lived on earth, just like you remember all the times you struggled, Kyouko," Her mother spoke gently, "We were able to live one full life with your father, because of Madoka-Sama, God bless her…and because you always did your best to help us. You were always a good girl, really."

"I…" All the buried timelines of loss and death shuddered in Kyouko's memory, "I don't deserve anything. I'm just glad you can forgive everything I messed up. But…what about Papa, where is he…?"

Momo and Kyouko's mother cast their eyes down. Kyouko felt the most terrible feeling that can be felt by a soul in heaven. There was a vision in her mind of a cold black hole, with her father crouched there like a foetus, as unmoving as the Walpurgisnacht girl had been.

"He isn't in heaven, Kyouko. For what he did…even after it was cancelled, what he had it in him to do…God can forgive him through Christ, but he has not yet forgiven himself."

"_Where is he_? What do I have to do? I don't care if there are rules or any of that trash, I'll even sell my soul over again to save him…!" Kyouko stopped, embarrassment overcoming her anger. Her mother was smiling, "What should I do?"

"You know, Kyouko. He's just waiting for you to tell him."

Kyouko fixed the darkness and her father in her mind. She remembered what her father had done to their family and herself. The guilt and fear that had twisted her, so she couldn't even save Sayaka. How she and Sayaka had been saved by Madoka, as if life really was a beautiful fairytale of forgiveness. How the price of her selfishness had been paid by another. She took a deep breath.

"I forgive you! Everything you did. It never happened, and I love you anyway. You don't belong in the darkness, not when you trusted God! Come on out, and stop making Mother and Momo-chan sad, stupid Papa!"

It took more shouting, but eventually Kyouko's father came back, and stood up between her mother and sister, blinking. For a few minutes, before they awoke in their separate places, Kyouko's arms around her father were stronger than death. Both of them were weeping, and all of them were together. Kyouko had never ever been happier, and now it would only ever increase in glory.


End file.
